Mario
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: What would life be for Mario if he did not live in the capital of the Mushroom Kingdom, and instead, lived his peaceful life in a tiny village within the meadows east of Toad Town? New discoveries, new friends, new insanity! It's Mario at his best!
1. Prrrrrrologue

_Dear Mr. Mario:_

_It has come to our attention that you re gaining lots of popularity and fume due to such great games like Mario Party 8, Mario Party DS, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, Mario Super Sluggers, Super Paper Mario, the rereleases of Super Mario Brothers 1 and 3 on the VC (as well as Super Mario World, Super Mario 64, and Mario Kart 64), Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Mario Strikers Charged, Mario kart Wii, and of course, your highest claim to fame yet, Super Mario Galaxy. We would be pleasantly interested to know what you currently have plans for at the moment._

_Sighed, Nintendo._

* * *

_To Nintendo:_

_Oh-a, well, I have decided to, umm, make-a my own-a website-a, and... that's-a it. I sorta moved away from the Mushroom Kingdom to relocate in the Mushroom Meadows (which is-a to the east of Toad Town), and so far, things-a have been better for me here than in Toad Town. I'm already a big hit with the few residents that live here, and there's scarcely five houses. I know I've seen much larger settlements, but this-a is what I can live with. Some peace and-a quiet from Toad Town, yet having the same friendliness as the grand capital of the Mushroom Kingdom. And-a I have plenty of new friends-a that I would like you folks-a in Japan to see! Please-a reply soon, and tell Miyamato-san that-a he's always welcome to-a visit!_

_From, Mario_

* * *

**Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus Presents...**

**Mario: The Many Adventures of Super Mario**

* * *

_Mario Mario (simply known as Mario)_

"Hello, ladies and-a gentlemen. It's-a me, Mario! You folks-a all know me well, and, I have to-a say, I love the lot of you for enjoying every single minute of me! I-a never thought I would have millions of people who would recognize and like me! ...A-herm, too much-a boosting on part of my ego. Anyway, I've got a lot of things to show you, such as how life is-a going for me! Though I can't wait to show you the other inhabitants of this pleasant village I live in the Mushroom Meadows... one that I engraved my great-a name in... Great Mariotain! It doesn't sound much like a true nation, but-a hey, I'm Super Mario, I can do anything that seems physically and psychotically impossible! Anyway, I've done enough jabbering-a. I'll let the other civilians tell themselves. Wahoo!"

_Kevin K. Koopa (also known as Kevin)_

Hi... I'm Kevin K. Koopa, but mostly everyone here calls me Kevin, or just Kev. I'm not much, but I'm a little... shy, if you can get me. I don't really like to do any sports that seems out of place. I'm more of the type of guy who likes things laid back and calm... and... uhhh... well, would you look at the time? Gotta run!"

_Golly G. Goomba (aka Golly)_

Hiya! I'm Golly G. Goomba. I'm just a happy, little mushroom girl who's happy with life! Yeah, I may be too full of sugar, but I just LOVE everyone! I mean, Mario's so cool, and he's hawt... oops, I wasn't suppose to say that! Teehee! Whenever there's a special date, I would ALWAYS accept it, except... I can get a little crazy, if you know what I mean. Teeheehee!

_Billithan B. Bo-Bomb The Third (aka Billy)_

Hi. I'm Billy B. Bo-Bomb. My real name insists that I'm the grandson of the first Billithan, being the son of the second Billithan. So I'm the third Billithan, and given that if I ever had a Bo-Bomb child of my own, given that he's male, of course, he'll be Billithan the Fourth. But anyway, with that out of the way... I love food. I love it. Pizza, pasta, steak, brownies, cupcakes, garbage remnants... whatever it is, if it's in my sights, I'll gobble it down like no tomorrow. That, and I'm the second fastest runner in the whole town - err, I mean, village. Yeah... Don't be giving me those looks, now.

_Birdo "Catherine" Birdosaurus (aka Birdo)_

Hi, everyone. I'm Birdo, and I'm sure you all know me, right? I sort of broke up with Yoshi, since me and him got into a fight. And then I went on a date with Bowser... it ended unpleasant. I don't want to go into details, but anyway, I decided to follow Mario here, and... well, it's been great. The three regulars are great, and it's nice to see Dr. Hoshi again after a long, long time. Anyway, I watch over the village, being the motherly watcher of the place. Luckily, my egg-spitting skills come in handy if things go out of hand, and luckily, Mario knows the price of punishment if anyone in the village dare participates in a crime... but other than that, I'm just your friendly, neighborhood, motherly watcher. Hmmhmmhmmhmm...

_Doctor Harryhausen Howard Hoshi (aka Dr. Hoshi)_

Well, well, well. It's been quite a long while, eh ladies and gentlemen. Yet again, it is I, Dr. Hoshi, in all of my intelligent glory! Although I may not really appear in old Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus's fanfiction anymore (due to the point that he finally understood what **fanfiction** actually was and started using real characters), I'm here in Great Mariotain, living my life well and keeping the entire village at peace, indulging everyone with common sense and great knowledge. I also have a nice little lab that I specifically designed myself. You all should take a look into it sometime. Oh, time's up already. So long, folks, and I sincerely hope that you enjoy the lives of myself and the others, Mario included (even though for his own good he sometimes boasts too much...)!


	2. Falling Meteors

Mario was running down the dirt-paved path, through the green, grassy plains of the Mushroom Meadows, humming merrily as he jumped up and down in glee. The Italian, red-capped plumber then stopped, to see a brown sign post nearby. Curious, he ran over to read it.

"Watch out for falling meteors!" The billboard stated. Mario shrugged, and he continued jogging through the grassy meadow.

Making a turn to the left, Mario past the local postal office (which was owned by a pair of Bullet Bill brothers, one the standard black and another a rare blue violet variety), grabbing the scattered gold coins hidden well within the grass. As he made his way back to his home, he got smashed in the back of the head, falling face first into the ground. Moaning as he rubbed his head, Mario glanced at the rock that hit him in the back of the head, examining it closer to see that it was a meteor!

"Mamma mia!" mario exclaimed, as he quickly glanced upwards at the sky. He panicked as he saw many small meteors coming down faster than a certain blue hedgehog. Mario started running for his life, only to be prevented from running and pulverized by the sheer amount of small meteors, all of which sizzled out before making contact. Struggling to get out, Mario remarked weakly

"I knew I should have brought my hard hat with me... cough..."


	3. Kevin's Magic Trick

Kevin K. Koopa was opening up a new magic show, having it conveniently right next to his own little house. The shy Koopa was starting to get into magic, and all of the town's other five residents were there to give the show some good showing. Because that's what the point was - attracting peons who would pay to see a magic show.

"As for my first act... umm..." Kevin gulped, and he looked around, whispering to the small audience, "Uhh, what should I do, guys?"

Mario chuckled, folding his arms as he closed his eyes and shook his head. "Silly Kevin. If you need instructions on how to perform magic tricks, check out the enclosed instruction book," He stated coolly as he stuck his right index finger in the air, winking at the others.

"...Okay, then!" Kevin stated, sweatdropping as he grabbed a book with instructions on how to properly use magic out of nowhere, skimming through it and reading it thoroughly as he stopped his finger on one particular pick. "A-ha!" he looked up, smiling. 'For this trick, I'll need a special someone!"

"Ooh! That's me, that's me!" Mario shouted as he jumped onto the stage, smiling in a dumbfounded fashion.

Kevin gulped, sweating nervously as he scratched the back of his neck. "A-are you sure about this, Mario...?" He obviously was very hesitant, as he did not want to regret what he was about to do.

Mario opened his eyes, winking at Kevin as he smiled. "Go ahead, Kev. I'll be okey dokey!"

Kevin sighed, noting a tiny prayer as he then grabbed a black wand out of nowhere, and muttered the words, "Hocus Pocus! Make Mario disappear! Hocus Pocus! Please don't let him be... ummm..." He panicked, shouting as he covered his face with his hands, "Argh! I can't rhyme with disappear!"

"...Just do the magic trick already..." Billy sighed as he rolled his eyes, getting bored as he felt the seconds ticking away.

Kevin sighed. "Okay, okay." he breathed in and out, muttering to himself, "I can do this. I can do this!" Chanting once more, Kevin waved his wand at Mario, and suddenly, with one poof of pink-and-purple smoke, made the red-capped Italian plumber... disappear!

"Whoa! He disappeared! Where did he go? Splendid job, Kevin!" Golly, Billy, Birdo, and Dr. Hoshi commented, applauding for the performance (except both Golly and Billy for obvious reasons, instead clapping with their feet). Kevin blinked, and he chuckled sheepishly, stating, "Aww, it was nothing." He then started pondering. "But I do wonder where Mario is..."

Mario screamed in fright as he hung tightly onto the wooden branch sticking out of the hard, bluish wall of the cliff side, with nothing but boiling lava below him. The red-capped Italian plumber gulped, and at the top of his lungs, screamed the only thing that could come immediately to his mind...

"Kevin, wherever you are! HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLP!!"


	4. Waffles

Mario was doing his usual jogging around the small, peaceful village of Great mariotain, whistling his own theme as he past by Birdo's house. He stopped in his tracks, however, sniffing the air, and licking his lips together with glee. He could sense the delicious syrup nearby. It was only one thing that the red-capped Italian plumber could describe that was crunchy and soft, and he knew EXACTLY what it was...

...

...

...

...

Waffles. _Loads of them_.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Mario clamored with glee, rushing over to where the scent of the waffles were. Interestingly enough, they were coming from the lab of Dr. Hoshi, who was making himself a rather large breakfast.

Smacking is lips together and thinking with his stomach rather than his head, Mario grabbed out his POW Hammer and smashed the door down, tossing the hammer away and rushing into the kitchen, grabbing Dr. Hoshi and laughing maniacally. Dr. Hoshi sweatdropped, inching away from mario as much as he could as he managed to get out of his grip.

"Uhhh, Mario, are you... feeling okay...?" Dr. Hoshi hesitantly asked, noticing the look of hunger in Mario's eyes.

Mario nodded, saliva dripping from his mouth onto the floor. "Where... where are they? The waffles... THE WAFFLES!!" He started laughing maniacally again as thunder boomed loudly, white lightning suddenly zapping in the background.

Dr. Hoshi slapped his forehead, and sighed. "He's in one of his moods again..." Sighing, Dr. Hoshi grabbed an empty plate and placed several golden waffles on it, topping them with delicious, sweet maple syrup. handing it to Mario, Dr. Hoshi pointed at the door in the hallway and shouted, "All right, here's your waffles. Now please leave my laboratory and precious home..."

Slamming the door on the red-capped Italian plumber's face, Dr. Hoshi sighed as he wiped his forehead, muttering to himself, "Sheesh, that was close. Now, where was it..."

BAM!! The door slammed open, and there was Mario, smiling with a daze look in his eyes. Dr. Hoshi moaned as he shook his head, his hand over his face. Sighing, he turned around to face Mario, asking why he came back all of a sudden. Mario merely smiled, letting out a little chuckle as he meekly muttered quietly...

"More."

Dr. Hoshi narrowed his eyes, pushing the red-capped Italian plumber away from his home. "Mario, you already had enough waffles. Go back to your-"

"_**MMMMMMMOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEE!!**_" Mario roared as he grabbed Dr. Hoshi and started shaking him, smashing him into the floor as he ran into the kitchen, gobbling down as much waffles as he could, drinking down lots and lots of maple syrup, laughing his head off maniacally as he had a bizarre look in his eyes, his mind being polluted by the tons of sugar entering in. Dr. Hoshi moaned weakly as his left foot twitched, barely able to get back up.


	5. Mario's Broken Leg

Mario was in his house, watching some baseball on his wide screen television. He yawned loudly as he grabbed several potato chips and stuffed them into his mouth, munching on them loudly as a fly buzzed by. The red-capped Italian plumber practically stayed still as he continued watching television, until a concerned Birdo entered into the room.

"Mario, you just can't sit here forever, can you?" Birdo asked, concerned as she shook her head and tried to get Mario up. "You're going to get fat this way-"

"Get off of-a me!" Mario growled as he pushed Birdo off him, gruffly saying, "I don't need your dirty mutts on me."

Birdo gasped, covering her mouth in shock after hearing Mario's proclamation. "M-Mario! You don't mean that, do you...?" She asked, hesitant as she gulped.

Mario gave the feminine pink dinosaur a glazed look, his eyes narrowed. "Listen, toots, I had a bad day. I honestly don't feel like getting up, beause just earlier, I tripped in mud because some idiot left his banana peel loose on the grass. I mean, look at my right leg, for pete's sakes..." He picked up his right leg, to show that he was not joking.

Birdo was now even more concerned, covering her mouth. "Oh... oh my." She rubbed the back of her head. "Well... uhhh... should I make toast for you, then?"

Mario sighed, closing his eyes. "Aye. I have nothing else to eat." As he was about to grab for the remaining potato chips, he fell off the couch, moaning in great pain as he felt his right leg breaking off.

Birdo screamed in horror, and at the sight of it, instantly ran out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Mario groaned as he rolled his eyes, unable to feel his right leg... literally.


	6. Attack of the Soaked, Burning Bees

Mario was doing several aerobics around the small peaceful village of Great Mariotain, getting as much exercise as he could. He was going to be at Birdo's house, having some delicious Pasta Cake that Birdo personally cooked just for him. Already feeling the taste of sweet, sweet cake mixed in with pasta, Mario kept his mouth watering as he made his way towards Birdo's house.

Unfortunately, the worse thing immediately hit him the minute he opened the door and walked right into the house. Several bees started chasing him, circling around his head! Mario screamed as he ran outside the house for three minutes, flailing his arms around as the bees attempted to sting him. The red-capped Italian plumber rushed into his house and turned on the water faucet on the sink, putting his head right under it. Sadly, it didn't help, as the bees quickly stung him to ensure that he got pain. Mario screamed as he jumped up, accidentally breaking the faucet and causing water to burst right out of the spot where the faucet once was. As Mario's house started overflowing, Mario ran through his room, whacking himself with several objects, objecting to even more pain as he tried to get rid of the bees.

Sadly, it was no luck. Mario gritted his teeth, and quickly prayed to himself as he fired his hands at his face and started burning himself with his own red, hot burning fireballs. Quickly catching fire, mario ran around screaming as the flames burned his body, along with the bees that still circled him. He then made his way downstairs, although he tripped on the first step, tumbling down right into the water, hitting his head and going out unconscious. As water began flowing out of the entrance to Mario's house, the town's residents quickly took notice, and screamed as they all ran into their homes to shut their doors. Birdo gasped in horror as she watched the water flow over her precious fruit and vegetable garden, wiping out the crops as the water saturated the grassy meadows beyond the village of Great Mariotain. She sniffled as she ran right out of her house into her over-saturated garden, bursting into tears as she covered her hands over her face, as Dr. Hoshi came out from his laboratory and started comforting her.

Billy the Bo-Bomb, who was helping Kevin installing a new air conditioner, popped his head out and rushed over to Mario's house, cautiously opening the door as the remaining water splashed all over him, making him completely soaked. he then screamed, and fainted at the sight of the unconscious Mario, who not only was soaked and had burns all over him (which in turn made his entire body colored grayish), but the bee stings all over his face made it a hideous sight to look at. The poor, unconscious Italian plumber surely would not get any pasta cake now.


	7. Ask Dr Hoshi: Farmer

Dr. Hoshi adjusted his light-blue glasses as he typed on his own keyboard, looking straight at his fancy black computer.

"Do, do, do... I wonder what question I got today..." Dr. Hoshi muttered to himself as he clinked to his e-mail inbox, looking at the new messages he got - three. Picking one out of random, Dr. Hoshi read aloud, "Dear Dr. Hoshi, have you ever considered owning your own farm? Sighed, Toad from Toad Town."

Silence. Dr. Hoshi sighed as he rubbed his chin, talking aloud as he typed, "Well, I did want to try a new experience, so yes, I farmed. However, it turns out that I'm not suited to be a farmer. You see..." He sighed as he re-imagined an old flashback of his, "The sheep that I have been taking care of the farm..."

* * *

In the purple Yoshisaurus's flashback, we can see him in farmer's typical clothes, holding a picket fence as he watched the small herd of white sheep - approximately five of the wooly mammals. Dr. Hoshi watched the animals carefully, but he then felt something come across his mind.

"Oh, right! I left the shed open!" Dr. Hoshi suddenly remembered as he slapped his head, rushing over to close his shed.

The sheep looked at each other, cackled deviously, and one at a time, all jumped out of the ranch, running off for freedom. The ranch was as empty as the grassy green meadows that surrounded it.

Dr. Hoshi came back, and he slapped his forehead as he quickly noticed that the sheep were all gone.

* * *

"...So, as you can see, Mr... Toad," Dr. Hoshi hesitantly stated as he cleared his throat, typing as he was finishing up, "I'm not the guy to go to when it comes down to farming and watching over animals. You see... the sheep were bright enough to escape while I tended to the shed. And thus, that's why I no longer am a farmer." Finishing up the sentence, he rubbed his chin as he muttered to himself curiously, "Hmmm... now that I mention it... I wonder how the shed's doing..."

* * *

Back at the ranch where Dr. Hoshi formerly watched over his precious five sheep, the shed, which was a beautiful red-and-white coat before, rotted down to being old, brown, and rusty. Kevin K. Koopa and Billy the Bo-Bomb were seen taking some tools out from the shed, running off with glee as the entire shed collapsed on itself.

"Hey! Kevin!" Mario shouted as he looked for his godo Koopa Troopa friend, scratching his red cap as he continued calling out the turtle's name, running past the collapsed shed.


	8. Faster than a Speeding Bullet

Mario yawned loudly as he waited outside of his house, waiting for the mail. Looking at his brand new Mario wristwatch on his right wrist, Mario suddenly went spinning around as a speeding bullet passed right by him, causing the red-capped, middle aged Italian plumber to spin right back into his house, tumbling over the furniture. Moaning, mario tumbled out, only to be caused spinning again. Shaking his head, mario dropped in jaw as he noticed that the speeding object was a blue-colored Bullet Bill with a bluish mail hat on its head, carrying a brown mailbag on its right arm. Curious, mario followed the speeding Bullet Bill, all the way back to the small, though convenient Postal Office.

"Hello-a?" Mario asked as he looked around, heading to the main desk. "Excuse me-a, but is there anyone here?"

A black Bullet Bill, also wearing a blue-colored mail hat, looked up, and smiled (though that's impossible because Bullet Bills don't have facial expressions. Curse you, laws of physics!), stating with glee, "Hello! Welcome to the Bullet Bill Postal office! I'm Bullet Bill Ted, and you must be here for something important, hmmm?"

Mario nodded, taking off his red cap and scratching his brownish hair. "yeah. You see, that speeding blue Bullet Bill that passed by Great Mariotain earlier-"

Bullet Bill ted laughed. "Oh, him? No, it's all right, he's just my identical twin brother, Bullet Bill Fred. We both run the postal office ourselves, so it's always great to have him go out on the go, with me organizing the letters here, and all."

Mario rubbed his chin, curious as he placed his red cap back on his head. "Intriguing. Well, anyway, that's all I wanted to know. Thanks." He waved goodbye as he exited, only to get blasted into the clear blue sky by the sudden arrival of Bullet Bill Fred, who has recently came back from his recent delivery.


	9. Fluffy Puff Marshmallows!

Mario and Kevin K. Koopa were sitting on the front porch of Mario's house, sighing out of boredom as they wonder what to do. They clearly did not want to hang out with the other villagers of Great Mariotain, as the two turned out to be the best friends of each other.

"What do you want to do?" Mario asked as he rubbed his chin.

Kevin shrugged, sighing. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do _YOU_ want to do?" Mario asked again, feeling a bit aggravated of replying the same thing.

Kevin sweatdropped, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hey, don't get mad at me. Remember, you asked first, not me."

Mario nodded in agreement, folding his arms as he snuffed. "Humph. Good point. Anyway..." He looked up, noticing the clouds covering up the sun, and then looking back down at Kevin, suggesting, "Maybe we should go inside and play something on my Wii."

Kevin scratched his head, confused. "Like what? The last thing I heard, the only things you have on your Wii are Super Mario Galaxy and Mario Kart Wii?"

Mario rolled his eyes, grinning as he patted Kevin on the shoulder. "Oh, you never know. I could... umm..." He blinked, rubbing his chin. "What was I saying again? Marshmallows?"

"...Mushy mush?" Kevin asked, tilting his head to the right.

Mario shook his head. "No, no, I think you mean Fluffy Puff marshmallows." He then pulled out a bag of white marshmallows with the red tinted words "Fluffy Puff" on them. "How aout we have a marshmallow fight?"

Mario, however, did not get an answer, as the bag was snatched by Golly, who munched down on all the marshmallows. Mario and Kevin both dropped their jaws in disbelief as Golly belched, giggling as she wiped her mouth with a bright white-and-pink napkin.

"Golly gee! Those marshmallows were deliciously sweet and fluffy!" She giggled as she ran off back to her house.

Mario and Kevin both looked at the now empty bag of the Fluffy Puff marshmallows on the ground, and then eyed each other. Growling, the two began to fight over each other for the rights to the empty bag.

"You heard it here, ladies and gentlemen!" Billy randomly shouted out of nowhere, taking out a green microphone, "Mario and Kevin both LOVE fighting over the empty bag of Fluffy Puff marshmallows! Only here in Great Mariotain!" However, poor Billy was caught in the dust cloud formed by Mario and Kevin's fighting, getting beaten up in the process.


	10. Golly and Billy's Date Night

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: (chuckles nervously, then rubs back of head) Ehehehe... well, this chapter definitely proves that I'm becoming quite attached to Homestar Runner. But then again, this WHOLE fanfic is based on (is a tiny tribute) to Homestar Runner, with Mario as the star and his series in the mix. So... all I can say... is read and enjoy the chapter, ladies and gentlemen! (runs off stage; crashes into several trash cans) ARGH!! Darn, it, Disclaimer!

Disclaimer: (laughs own head off; head pops off) HEY!! No logic solves nothing! (chases own head)

* * *

Mario whistled merrily as he entered into Golly the Goomba's house. Walking up to Golly, who was placing a bow ribbon on her golden hair ponytail, Mario coughed, stating, "Whoa, Golly, you look like a foxy mama!"

Golly frowned, turning around to face Mario. "Mario, that's offensive. _Really_ offensive. I mean, if you call me a foxy mama, it feels insulting in my case, being that I'm young."

Mario scoffed, rolling his eyes. "So, where are we going tonight? The French restaurant nearby the Cheep-Cheep Creek?"

Golly sighed, closing her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm going on a date with Billy the Bo-Bomb." She chuckled, stating, "I'm guessing you're gonna go and take a nice jog around Great Mariotain, running around in places or something."

Mario shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, I was going to - you **WHAT!?**" He gasped, realizing what Golly just stated.

* * *

"YOU **WHAT!?** I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, BILLY!!" Kevin shouted in shock, growling as he watched Billy place a blackish bow tie around his circular body.

Billy only muttered as he adjusted his bow tie, "Yeah, I'm going out with good ol' Golly."

Kevin started shaking with rage. "I can't believe this, Billy! You're going out with a GOOMBA!?"

* * *

"I can't believe you're cheating on me!" Mario snapped, angry as he shook his fists. "What are you saying? That you want to be exploded!?"

* * *

"You can't even call that mushroom... _THING_... a bond!" Kevin stated, trying his best to prove that Bo-Bombs and Goombas can't mix. "And besides, cross mating is-"

* * *

"Just a cheap way to getting benefits from different species!" Mario finished, folding his arms as he pouted.

Golly sighed, turning around and walking up to Mario. She then snapped at the red-capped Italian plumber "Look, Mario, it's just a date. It's ALWAYS has ben an open relationship."

Mario scoffed, laughing right in the cheerful female Goomba's face. "Pa! Ha ha ha! What a laugh! Says you!"

Golly shrugged, but she then winked, giggling as she added, "I bet you're just gonna go out to Birdo and ask her out, aren't cha?"

Mario fumed, feeling jealous. "Yeah, well, I turned down more foxy mamas than I can count than I went out with, JUST to stay completely loyal to you! Plus, I mean, come on, do you know how awful they treat you after a night out!?"

Golly sighed, lowering her eyes. "Oh, you mean the seven humanoid mushroom girls that passed by the town several days ago?" She cunningly retorted, smirking.

Mario snarled, feeling insulted. "Oh, THAT's rich." he narrowed his eyes, glaring at the feminine Goomba. "Ms. Smartyshroom, eh?"

* * *

"Mr. Smartybomb, huh?" Kevin snuffed at Billy, replying with a nasty tone, "Well-"

* * *

"Why-"

* * *

"Don't-"

* * *

"You-"

* * *

"Just-"

* * *

"Go-"

* * *

"Out-"

* * *

"And-"

"Then-"

"_**GET OUTTA MY FACE!!**_" Mario and Kevin angrily shouted at each other, opening their eyes to realize that they were not in front of their friends.

"Mamma mia!" Mario exclaimed, slapping his forehead.

Kevin sweatdropped, his eyes widening as he remarked while looking around himself to find himself in Golly's house, "What in the name of Koopa?"

* * *

Golly giggled, smooching Billy on the right cheek. "Come on, Billithan, let's go," She squealed in a sweet, love-able voice as she and Billy headed off for the French restaurant near the Cheep-Cheep Creek.

* * *

A few minutes later, back at Golly's house, Mario and Kevin were drinking their sorrows down with orange juice, but it did not seem to work well.

"Oh, man. Seriously, Kevy, _MAH BOI_, we gotta do something about this..." Mario muttered as he hiccuped, a few orange bubbles coming out.

Kevin belched lightly as he wiped his mouth, replying, "Well, usually, I read some of my books on Koopas to drown my sorrow away." he snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "Maybe we can light them up with gasoline and _HARDEN_ them with **FIRE**!"

Mario raised his right eyebrow, rubbing the back of his head. "Uhhhh... maybe we should just sabotage their date."

Kevin narrowed heir eyes, asking as he placed his hands on his hips, "Ask me how _HARDENING_ them with **FIRE** wouldn't work."

Mario sweatdropped, raising his right finger. "Maybe they could break themselves, and reform to kiss each other by making out..."

Silence.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Quack."

"Mario!"

"Sorry."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Well?"

"Shut up, Mario, I'm thinking."

"Sigh..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Ugh! Totally gross!" Kevin remarked with disgust, hiding in his green shell as he shuddered at the thought.

Mario sighed as he shook his head, muttering to himself, "I got the perfect way of ruining their date..."

* * *

At the French Restaurant...

Golly smiled as she glanced down at the menu, looking up at Billy and smiling. "Oh, Billy, this date's been great. I just love being with you."

Billy nodded, replying, "Is it all right if I asked about your figure, my missus?"

Golly giggled, feeling giddy. "Oh yes, I would be very comfortable about you saying something about my figure." She blew a kiss to Billy. "Thanks for asking."

Billy blushed a bit, and he then replied, "Well... how big is your bu-"

Golly sweatdropped, sighing as she realized why Billy asked. "Ewww, now that you mention it, I'm not _that_ comfortable..."

Kevin then ran in, wearing a waiter's outfit as he glanced at Billy. "Good evening, thy ungodly couple," Kevin stated, trying his best to clear his throat, "I'm Waiter, I'll be your Kevin K. Koopa for the evening." He turned to Golly, asking with a sly smirk, "Can I start you off with a-"

Golly sighed. "Uhh, Kevin? What are you doing here?" She eyed the Koopa suspiciously. "And why are you in waiter's clothes, anyhoo?"

Kevin started to sweat nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he slyly lied, "Well, it's this new part time job I got, so I can be able to pay more bills for-"

"LIES!!" Billy bursted, glaring at Kevin as he shouted, "Get out of here before I explode you into infinity and beyond..."

Kevin chuckled nervously, replying to Billy, "Oh yes, I would be comfortable with you cleaning my clock by exploding-"

"GET OUTTA HERE!!" Billy roared as he started his fuse on top of his head.

Kevin yelped, and he ran off, reappearing briefly, "Can I suggest Breakus Uppicus?"

BOOM!! Billy exploded, and the explosion caused Kevin to be sent soaring in the air, screaming in pain as he was burnt from the explosion. Golly coughed, also covered by the burnt ashes, as she watched Billy tumble down to his right, knocked out cold.

* * *

Golly licked her lips together with delight as sherubbedher stomach with her right foot. "Teehee... that mushroom filet was so delicious!' She smiled, looking up to Billy. "How was your gasoline?"

Billy shrugged. "Oh, I could have used more gas than oline." He then bursted into laughter, joined by Golly and her cute giggling.

"Yahoo!" Mario greeted as he ran to Golly and Billy's table, adjusting his white chef's hat, "It's a-me, Mario- err, I mean, the chef-a!" he glanced at Golly, grinning. "Which one-a of you-a ordered the kick-a in the butt-a?"

Golly rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "I thought this was a French restaurant."

Mario's eyes widened. "Oh... uhhh..." He sweatdropped, chuckling nervously. "Snails?"

BOOM!! Billy exploded, causing Mario to be sent soaring in the air, his body burnt by the fiery explosion from the stuffed bomb.

"Eeeeeiiiihoohoohoohooooiiieeee!" Mario cried as a bright star appeared in the dark sky where he was last seen.

* * *

Out by the Cheep Cheep Creek, Mario and Kevin were using the fresh water from the creek to clean the ash off themselves. Sighing, the two looked at each other.

"What should we do after that?" Kevin asked as he coughed out a pencil he apparently had in his waiter costume.

Mario rubbed his chin, and he snapped his fingers together, stating proudly, "Onto Plan B - Operation Never Seeing Each Other Again!"

* * *

Mario and Kevin both giggled like little Japanese schoolgirls as they watched Golly and Billy skipping down the path with each other. The two males then jumped out and fired off their rockets at the couple, only to scream and run in fright as the rockets backfired and headed towards them, exploding. Golly and Billy bursted into laughter as they watched Mario and Kevin fall down on their backs on the ground, unconscious.

* * *

Mario held up a net while Kevin planted several suctions on the ground, hoping back onto the bushes. As the two watched Golly and Billy approaching while riding their new rolling blades, Mario tossed the net onto them, only to miss and get caught in the suctions. Kevin yelped as he jumped out and tried to pull Mario out, but he too got caught by the suction. The two struggled as they were ran over by Bullet Bill Fred, who was on his way back to the Postal Office.

* * *

"This one CAN'T fail..." Mario muttered under his breath as he placed the clown costume on himself, "We're going to succeed, Kevin!"

Kevin moaned as he rolled his eyes, the two approaching and started laughing like clowns as Golly and Billy skipped towards them, stopping in their tracks. "...Ewwww!" Golly freaked out as she hid behind Billy, "I hate clowns! They're do gross and spooky!"

Billy then got a determined look on his face, and he approached the two clowns. "Golly, leave these stupid freaks to me!" He started turning a bright yellow, and then...

BOOOOOM!!

Mario and Kevin screamed as they went soaring into the air, having dealt with another explosion.

* * *

Mario and Kevin were seen running after Golly and Billy, who both turned around to face the two and stuck their tongues out, honking like a car. Mario and Kevin continued chasing, although they were then ran over by an incoming freight train, being as flat as paper.

* * *

Later... much, MUCH later...

"We tried Plan T. Plan U. Plan V. Plan W. Plan X, and Plan Y..." Kevin frowned as he counted off all of the failed attempts. He glanced at Mario, frowning, "What are we gonna do?"

Mario pondered deeply, and he snapped his fingers, grinning. "Of course! Why did I not think of it earlier!" He turned to Kevin, grinning. "The ultimate Plan... Plan Z!"

Kevin's right eye twitched. Plan... Z..."

* * *

Mario and Kevin were at the Postal Office, waiting for Bullet Bill Ted to come. As the two yawned, Ted came with their package.

"Hope you use this to its full potential!" Ted stated as he tipped his hat and went back into his office, while Mario and Kevin ran out with giddy, both holding the package.

* * *

Later, Mario and Kevin were in Kevin's brown cardboard box, riding on the river leading to Cheep Cheep Creek as they spotted Golly and Billy on the bridge.

"Oh, I didn't know that you liked Super Charging Chucks!" Golly admired, kissing Billy on the cheek as she giggled, "We have so much in common."

Billy could only laugh in a goofy fashion as he blushed red all over his bluish body.

"Couple spotted at twelve o' clock!" Mario shouted, pointing at the bridge. "FIRE!"

Mario and Kevin lighted up their rockets as they prepared to fire, although they were sent blasting backwards. Screaming, Mario and Kevin held onto each other as they tumbled down a waterfall, making a big splash at the bottom.

"Ooooh, fireworks!" Golly gasped, squealing with joy as she hugged Billy, "It's... so romantic..."

"Swing your arms... from side to side..." Mario and Kevin gurgled as they submerged underwater, bubbles appearing in their place.

* * *

Later, back at Golly's house, Mario was stomping on the ground in place to lose some stress. He then heard the door open, and snarled at Golly, who whistled merrily.

"Oh, if it isn't golly old Golly... or, is it MAMA Golly, or DR. Golly, or is it Golly the Wizard, Golly the Gray, or THE Golly?" Mario snapped as he folded his arms, growling.

Golly sighed, closing her eyes as she shook her head. "Well, you would be happy to know that it didn't work out." She sighed, frowning as she looked down at hersnazzy, red carpet, "Me and Billy both found out that Goombas and Bo-Bombs can't make love with each other." She sniffled, tears forming in her eyes. "it's a shame... really... Billy was great..."

Mario raised his left eyebrow, and he started laughing, feeling pride in himself. "Well, looks like you finally came crawling back to Mario, eh?"

Golly stopped crying, narrowing her eyes at Mario. "Actually, I just came here to put on my brand new pink dress." She winked at Mario, giggling. "I'm going out with that hot Harryhausen."

Mario jumped in shock as his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "You WHAT!?"

* * *

"YOU WHAT!?" Birdo exclaimed in shock, covering her mouth as she watched Dr. Hoshi place on his brand new tuxedo, whistling to himself.


	11. Mario Doesn't Like Chocolate

Mario was doing some exercise in his house, humming merrily to himself as he stretched his arms. However, he heard the door ring, and he headed to the door, opening it to see a smiling Golly looking up at him.

"Hiya, Mario!" The young, high spirited Goomba girl giggled as she winked, "How about you come over to my place for some chocolates?"

Mario chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "Actually, Golly, I'm exercising right now, and chocolates make me f-"

Golly began to cry, her tears coming out as waterfalls, which were enough to cause a flood of water entering Mario's house. Sweatdropping, Mario bent down and patted Golly on the head.

"Okay, okay," He reassured her, smiling, "Maybe just one wouldn't hurt."

"YAY!" Golly cheered as she changed her mood and grabbed Mario, rushing over to her house in two seconds flat. As she entered, she dashed into the kitchen and brought out a straw-made basket of chocolates, handing it to Mario.

Mario shrugged and grabbed one of the pieces of chocolate. After popping one into his mouth, his eyes widened with joy as he grabbed the rest of the chocolates and started chuffing them down his mouth, munching down with joy as he swallowed all of them. He then started laughing maniacally, and he pushed Golly to the side as he dashed into the kitchen, to raid the refrigerator. Golly was in awe as her jaw dropped, while Mario munched his whole way through the food storage.

A few minutes later, Kevin the Koopa entered into the house, and he screamed when he noticed the sight of the fat Mario, who moaned as he struggled to get back on his feet, down on his back on the kitchen floor. Golly could barely move, while Kevin tried rolling Mario out, but having not as much luck.

"This is why..." Mario muttered as he moaned, feeling the pain, "...I didn't want chocolate... it only takes one to make you go... urp... crazy... ugh..."


	12. Ugh, Mail

Mario was waiting for the mail to come. It was past twelve in the afternoon, and the red-capped plumber couldn't stand waiting anymore.

"Darn it, what's taking that Bullet Bill so long!?" Mario shouted with rage as he tapped his left foot impatiently, looking up to see white puffy clouds fill up the clear blue sky. As a minute and thirty eight seconds passed by, Ted the Bullet Bill finally arrived, puffing after taking so long.

"Sorry about that, Mario," ted explained as he shook his head and handed Mario two blue letters and a pnk one, "But I had to go through the deep desert to get these babies. Ciao!" He turned around and zoomed away, heading off on his usual busy schedule.

Mario shrugged, and he opened up the three letters, reading the first blue letter, which read,

_"Come one, come all, to the annual Plumbers' Convention! In Grassland, exit 372!"_

And he followed to the second blue letter,

_"Show Me Your Moves at the Smash Bros Convention in Mute City, someone on a planet... actually, Mute City is the entire planet. My bad."_

And finally, he read the third pink one, of which he made a face of disgust,

_"Come on, sweety pie! I just KNOW you'd love to see what my magic can do._

_Loved, the special magic Hyrulian princess, Zellie."_

"Ugh," Mario groaned as he slapped his forehead and placed his letters into the mailbox, heading back inside his house, "Crap, Crap, and more crap. Just ugh."


	13. Invisible Coin Blocks

Mario was doing some running around the Mushroom Meadows, having as much fun as he could. But... he always goes around on adventuring every moment of his average life. Why can't he lay back down and relax?

"Because of the fact that I get my games hacked by just about everyone on the Internet, and if I have to go through another ROM hack of Super Mario Bros 1 or Super Mario World again while there's music from Super Mario All Stars being played one more time," Mario stated to the air as he bumped into an old oak tree.

Shaking his head, Mario PAUNCHED the oak tree down, jumping over it and heading along his way. As he started to perform his well renowned jumps in the air, he bumped into an invisible coin block. An _invisible_ coin block.

"... ... ..." Mario tried jumping again, but he hit another invisible coin block. Shaking with rage, mario screamed as he started spewing red hot fireballs everywhere, of which burned several invisible con blocks, causing the poor red-capped plumber to go insane as he ran towards a bottomless pit and jumped down, losing a life.


	14. Diggin' For a Spoon

Mario was digging in the ground, trying to get something from the ground. He left something in the ground several days ago. Kevin the Koopa came up to the red-capped plumber to see what was the case.

"Hey Mario!" Kevin greeted in a high pitched voice as he looked at the dirt, scratching his head and asking out of curiosity, "What'cha doing?"

Mario huffed as he moved the dirt out of his way, looking up and stating to Kevin, "Well, Kevin, as you can see, I left something in here out of curiosity, and I want to dig it out to see how it looks." He looked back down and resumed digging.

Kevin stood there, and he shrugged, replying, "Well, go for it, Mario. Doesn't affect me." And with that, the Koopa Troopa headed back to his house, to organize some of his collection of gray pebbles.

After fifteen seconds of constant digging, Mario popped up, holding something in his right hand. He cheered with victory as he opened his palm, revealing a bright spoon. Wiping the sweat from his forehead with his left arm, Mario jumped up and headed back to his house, to eat a nice bowl of pasta with his newly emerged spoon, which survive being under the ground for several days earlier.


	15. Pesky Monty Moles in the Garden

Mario was hanging out with Birdo again, helping the pink Birdosaurus with the garden, as Monty Moles started pulling some of the carrots straight from the ground. Using his old hammer, Mario smacked away the Monty Moles that popped up from the ground, while Birdo followed up by spitting her white eggs at the persistent moles. Knocking the rodents down one by one, Mario and Birdo both confronted the one left remaining, who gulped meekly as he held two carrots in his possession.

"You go from the right," Birdo stated to Mario the plan as she moved towards the left, "I'll cover this pest from the left."

Mario nodded in agreement, and placing his hammer back in the right pocket of his blue overalls, the red-capped plumber slowly moved towards the right, charging fireballs in his two palms. Birdo swiftly pulled out a net as the Monty Mole was too concerned by Mario's fire power. Suddenly, Birdo shouted at Mario, and Mario jumped up, causing the Monty Mole to duck right into the hole. After five seconds, the Monty Mole popped his head out, only to get caught inside Birdo's nest, plucked right out from the ground with the carrots in his hands. Mario and Birdo cheered as they hugged each other and headed back in, with the Monty Mole struggling to get out from the net.


	16. Sunny Sunflower

Mario was outside on his usual stroll around the peaceful Mushroom Meadows, taking in the warm air and peaceful atmosphere. As he walked past a small pond full of gren-colored frogs, the red-capped plumber spotted a nearby bunk of sunflowers, piled together. Noticing how beautiful they looked together, Mario pluckedone of the many out and headed back to the village of Great Mariotain, humming merrily as he held the Sunflower in his grasp, within his right hand.

However, as he turned around and headed back while whistling merrily, Mario quickly glanced ehind him, to see that the sunflowers began to slowly wilt. Frowning and feeling bad for what he did, Mario took one of the seeds inside the Sunflower he was holding and placed it in his left palm, warming it up with the heat he used for his red fireballs, and then placing the heated seed in the place where he snatched the Sunflower from. Patting the seed gently, a smiling Mario turned around and looked up at the bright yellow sun, which focused its shine on the Sunflowers, which have stopped wilting. Feeling good, Mario headed back to home, with a smile across his face.


	17. Gusty Winds

Mario was out for anther stroll in the Mushroom Meadows, frolicing around the green grass that blew in the windy breeze that accompanied the heat. As Mario practised his jumping skills, he came across a wooden sign, which read

"Warning: Gusty conditions approaching. Take caution."

Rolling his eyes, Mario jumped over the sign and continued jumping with grace, whistling to his content as he felt the breeze cool him off. However, as Mario continued umping towards the northern direction, the gentle breeze that was cooling him down started turning into a gusty force, flinging Mario's red cap off his brown hiar and causing it to be blown off. Mario screamed in horror as he tried to catch it, but he, too, was caught by the gusty wind and flung upwards, propelling him straight off the ground. Mario screamed as he not only tried to get back his cap, but also tried coming back to the ground, which proved fruitless on both cases. If only he had listened to the sign...


	18. Racing Around the Village

Mario was racing against Kevin K. Koopa around the village, deeming who was faster. As both ran on their feet, Mario used his jumping skills to help propel him forward, while Kevin slid within his green shell to make him slide past the red-capped plumber. After completing twenty nine laps, the last lap, which was the thirtieth lap, would determine who was faster. As Mario grabbed a feather and gained his famed yellow cape, he started running straight forward and then jumped up, holding onto his cape as he turned around and flew past Kevin.

Not deterred by this, Kevin quickly grabbed a blue spiny shell he had hidden inside and chucked it right at Mario, watching as the dangerously infamous item exploded, causing Mario to fall right to the ground with a thud. Kevin laughed evilly as he slid past the wounded plumber, emerging out and rounding around the tall oak tree in the middle of the village. Growling, Mario charged two red fireballs in his hands and chucked them around the tree, at Kevin, which hit, causing the Koopa to run around screaming as his flame caught on fire. Taking the advantage, Mario ran as fast as he could, jumping on Kevin's head as he slid towards the finish line on his stomach. Getting up, Mario was greeted by cheers from the villagers, while Kevin ran back home, to water down his tail so the flame would die off.


	19. Spring Livelyness

Mario was watching the white puffy clouds come into contact within the clear blue skies. As the sun's bright rays shined through the clouds, Mario could see that the plant life around was starting to blossom, revealing themselves as the birds started flying across the green grassy meadows.

"Ahhh," mario stated with a sigh of relief, smiling as he remarked, "It's great to see that life is finally emerging. Mamma mia, do I love-a spring." As he adjusted his red cap, Mario watched as several bees started pollenating some of the sunflowers that were by him, and he looked across the small ponds ahead of him to see the cows from the various Moo Moo Farms gathering together and drinking from the clean water supply. As Mario made himself comfortable on the green smooth grass, he looked up to see some different cloud patterns, one ironically looking a lot like him. Gasping at the sight, Mario chuckled to himself as he watched more clouds pour in, the weather becoming nice and warm for more creatures and life to spur about.


	20. The Return of Invisible Coin Blocks

Mario was doing some of his usual every day strolling around the Mushroom Meadows, getting a good look around the wide open plains this time around as he collected several of the gold coins that were stowed away in the golden "?" blocks. Bashing some of the regular blocks, Mario paused for a moment after jumping up in the air, for he hit something solid, yet there was no block to be seen. Turning around, Mario scratched his head as he noticed a brown block right where he just jumped.

"...Maybe I'm just... imagining things..." He assured himself as he continued bouncing along the way, humming merrily until he hit another invisible coin block. "Oh... oh no..." Remembering the tough times he had in various hard hacks, Mario started running back to the village, only to have more invisible coin blocks pop up out of nowhere. The red-capped Italian American plumber screamed as more popped up. one of them being hard enough to knock him out unconscious.

Nearby, Bullet Bill Ted was speeding through the grassy meadows, and spotted the unconscious Mario. Noticing the amount of out of place coin blocks, which were previously invisible, Ted picked up Mario and placed the out cold plumber on his back, resuming his daily mailman deliveries as he once more sped through, leaving behind him a trail of dust.


	21. Impatient

Mario was observing the grass outside of his house, which was growing at a slow rate. The red-capped plumber let out a sigh of boredom as he took a look at his own branded watch, noticing three seconds going by. Shaking his head, Mario turned his focus back to the plant, which was still taking quite a while.

Four seconds in. Five seconds in. Six seconds in. Seven sec-

"ARGH!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS NONSENSE ANYMORE!!!" Mario screamed with rage as he burned the grass with his red hot fireballs, breathing heavily as he headed back into his house to cool himself down from getting anymore enraged.


	22. Eggplant Curiosity

Mario and Birdo were once again in Birdo's garden, keeping out pests like Piranha Plants and Monty Moles out. Of course, after gathering enough turnips for lunch, Mario approached Birdo, to ask her something out of pure curiosity.

"Hey Birdo, I was wondering," Mario began as he rubbed the back of his neck, which for no apparent reason was having some pain as he coughed, "What vegetables and fruits don't you grow?"

Birdo turned around to face Mario, and she found herself pondering as well. "Hmmm... well..." She admitted with a quick thought, "I don't think we have any eggplants..."

Mario blinked, rubbing his chin in curiosity. "Eggplants... that sounds familiar..."

Before he could finish or remark, both Mario and Birdo were flat out squashed by Waluigi, who made his first appearance in a long time.

"Wahahaha! Now the story is actually good and worthwhile to read!" Waluigi stated to the apparent viewer, which was you, as he laughed while touching his excellent styled moustache, standing on top of Mario and Birdo, who both moaned weakly in pain.


	23. Hands off Mario's Bread

Mario was eating some bread he found under the nearby old wooden bridge to the east of the Mushroom Meadows. Little did he know that a certain blue falcon was planning on snatching it.

"Mmm, this-a is some good-a bread!" Mario exclaimed as he took another bite into it, being sent into a false sense of security as within not a moment too soon, his bread got stolen. He exclaimed in shock and horror as he looked for it. Looking under the bridge, mario started calling out for it, until he spotted the certain blue falcon, eating what was left of the bread. Exclaiming in anger, Mario jumped up onto the sharp pointed rock and grabbed the blue falcon by the collar, screaming in his face, "Darn it, Falco, must you always snatch my bread!?"

Falco merely grinned as he pushed Mario's hands off of him. "Well, I am a bird of prey," He stated, chuckling as he added, "And personally, I prefer the bread." And with that, he jumped up into the clear blue sky and left in his arwing, leaving behind an enraged Mario.


	24. Pink Apples

Mario was doing one of his usual strolls in the Mushroom Kingdom, minding his own business as usual, when suddenly, a pink-colored apple popped up right in front of him out of nowhere.

"What the?" He exclaimed as he picked up the apple and observed it, shrugging as he stated, "Humph, no harm, no foul." he took a bite into it, and suddenly, the middle aged pudgy red-capped Italian American plumber began flexing his entire body like a tornado, screaming as he split the dimensions between fiction and reality, sucking in the entire area around him. For three seconds flat, he fell on his butt, rubbing it as he shook his head. "What the heck kind of apple was that?" He asked himself as he stood up.

Sighing, Mario shrugged it off as he continued on his stroll, when another pink apple bumped right into him. Before long, the plumber was surrounded by HUNDREDS of pink apples!

"Mamma mia!" Mario screamed as he was drowned in by the pink apples, who all began to laugh creepily with a high pitched voice.


	25. Super Scoping

Mario was in his basement, trying to find something of his that he used to pull out back in the 1970s. As he used his Mario Torando attack to blow the dust away from several cardboard boxes, he opened one up and pulled out a Super Scope, gasping as he held it in his hands.

"Oooh mamma mia, I've been hiding this baby in here for years..." Mario muttered to himself with glee as he giggled, placing the Super Scope over his eye as he began targeting targets, "Let's see how this bad boy handles..."

He aimed at an old dart board, which had a picture of Waluigi on it. Being precise, Mario fired several small blasts of plasma at the dart board, and he then fully charged it up, firing a large plasma blast at the dart board, causing the dart board to explode and fall to the ground, the explosion shaking the basement. Mario screamed as he got up and tried running back up, but the force was enough to cause the wooden ladder to collapse on itself, breaking into pieces as Mario dropped the Super Scope and climbed his way out of the basement. Turning around and shaking his head sideways, Mario sighed as he headed out of his house, only to fall flat on his face as another explosion occurred due to another fully charged Super Scope Plasma shot.


	26. Strike of the Blue Shell

Mario was reading some of his many game magazines, one ironically being about Mario Kart Wii. As he read, the ground around him began to shake a bit. Putting the magazine down briefly, Mario turned around, and scratched his head. Shrugging, he resumed reading the magazine, muttering to himself as he looked at the tier listings of the characters and vehicles. Reading past the tiers and looking at the tips for several of the Wii courses, the house shook again. Putting down the magazine briefly again, Mario's left eye twitched as he remained skeptic.

"What keeps shaking the place...?" Mario muttered quietly to himself as he tried to read, until the doo bursted down, causing him to look up. Much to the red-capped Italian American plumber's horror, it was something he did not expect and wished never to exist...

...

The winged spiny Blue Shell.

"No.... no no no no no no! NOOOOOO!!!!" Mario screamed in horror as he chucked the magazine away and ran for his life, only to be blasted by the Blue Shell, causing his entire house to explode and collapse on itself as he was knocked unconscious. Nearby, sinister laughter could be heard within the bushes that were to the left of what remained left of Mario's house.


	27. Unfair Blink Contest

Mario and Kevin Koopa were both having a staring contest, seeing which one would blink first. However, as the two were in Mario's house, it would seem as if the red-capped plumber would have any luck of winning out, but alas, it proved wrong when kevin started walking towards Mario, staring straight into his eyes, causing him to blink as he gulped and stumbled a bit backwards.

"Aha!" The Koopa exclaimed with joy as he clapped his hands together, "I win! I win I win I win!"

Mario growled as he chucked his red cap on the ground and started jumping on it, before grabbing Kevin by the neck and choking him, acting as unfair as possible.


	28. Don't Look at the Sun

Mario looked at the sun from his window, wondering how long it could stay in its position. As he wondered, he rubbed his eyes, of which he was staring straight at the sun. Before the red-capped plumber could realize it, his eyes lit on fire, causing him to scream in pain as he fell off his chair and began to roll on the floor, grabbing FLUDD and turning him on, desperate to use his nozzle. Being blasted straight across the room by the water, Mario began ricocheting, with enough force to cause his entire house to collapse on itself, crushing the plumber with it.


	29. Trapped inside a Jar of Jelly

Mario was trapped inside a jar of jelly, which was empty after he accidentally took out the entire jelly for his sandwiches. Struggling in vain, Mario called out for help, but no one answered, leaving the poor red-capped plumber to continue struggling.


	30. Using Imagination

Mario was reading some magazines he found under his bed, curious to see if they aged well. To his disgust, they have not, and he chucked them across the room, cursing as he hid under his red-colored bed sheets and began spouting out sounds, imagining things for his own pleasure as he managed to get his jollies.


	31. You Faggot

Mario was reading a rainbow-colored book on his bed, not feeling like going outside of his house when suddenly, the book sucked him in! So Mario began to explore the strange fantasy land, which was filled with mushrooms, and more mushrooms, and yes, even more mushrooms. The sky was clear blue, the birds were singing, and everything seemed to have a rhythm within as the area was completely riddled with cheery attitudes and bright technicolor.

"Beautiful, beautiful technicolor!" A patch of yellow daisies exclaimed as they cooed at Mario.

The red-capped plumber was disturbed, to say the least, as he screamed in horror, setting every single thing on fire as he ran around in circles, unaware what to do or how to get out of the strange area. Bowser, who noticed the book Mario was reading on the ground, picked it up to see Mario trapped, laughing as he burned the book with his fiery breath, leaving Mario trapped inside.

**_Forever._**


	32. People Are Still Reading This Crap?

Mario was trying to see if he could get the penny out of the sewer, but he had no luck, so he decided to get out several unused bed sheets and used them as a way to climb down into the sewer himself. reaching the bottom, Mario frantically looked around as he dashed amongst the smelly underground, his brown shoes getting very easily wet as he had no care for such. When he headed westward, he spotted the penny he lost, and he quickly lashed onto it, placing it away in his back right overalls pocket.

Content with getting back his penny, Mario turned around and was about to head back up, when the sewer shook, and several fuzzies appeared, all ganging up on Mario. Mario screamed as he drowned in the sea of fuzzies, the entrance being blocked out by a large boulder, which was moved by Bowser, who laughed evilly as he took advantage of the situation.


	33. That's NO Good

Mario was flipping burgers for himself as he whistled. The trees were filled with energy as they bounced about, giving Mario the feeling of carefreeness as he bounced in his place, the grill bouncing along. Suddenly, several pellets shot the red-capped Italian American plumber in the back of the head. He turned around angrily, looking swiftly as he spotted two purple-colored Eggplantmen in a green warp pipe. Mario tossed the spatula away as he chased the two Eggplantmen down the warp pipe, struggling to get in as he tumbled.

He reached the bottom of the warp pipe as he was in a small, rectangular yellow room. He stood up, and noticed the two Eggplantmen, who had Peanut Poppers in their hands as they began shooting peanuts at Mario. Mario used his red hot fireballs to burn the Eggplantmen alive, knocking them out in the head with the dropped Peanut Poppers as he then ate up the two vegetable enemies and tried climbing back up into the warp pipe, but not being successful.


	34. WaLuIgi, Yeah Yeah Yeah

Mario was running against Kevin around the village again, this time to see who could get all the gold coins that were scattered. There were approxametly twelve gold coins scattered on the straight dirt paved road.

Mario ran as fast as he could as he easily snatched three of them, when Kevin suddenly retreated into his green colored shell and ricochetted Mario into the air, snatching the fourth coin. mario quickly pounded his way back, nabbing the five coin as kevin snatched away the sixth, seventh, and eighth coins. Mario fumed as he turned around and shot several red fireballs behind him, using them to get the ninth coin that he missed behind him. When he turned around, Kevin snatched coins number ten and eleven. The last golden coin, the twelth, was right in front of them.

Both Mario and Kevin hesitated as they glared at each other, jumping at the coin at the same time as they knocked each other out upon colliding. Bowser chuckled with glee as he snatched the coins that Mario and Kevin gathered, running off like the troll he was.


	35. LaLeLuLeLo

"Did you give him the block?"

"Aye, I did."

"Don't be lying to me now, mah boi..."

"Why would I be lyin'? I be ye fine mate, lassie."

"I thought I told you not to call me that."

"But why, lassie-"

"AGHSDJFH!!"

Mario grabbed Kevin by the neck and shoved him into a barrel filled with crabs, picking up the barrel and chucking it into the lake as he headed home to make some hamburgers for himself, while Kevin tried his best at keeping the crabs off him. Of course, the timid Koopa Troopa failed to do so.


	36. Unfunny Chapter

Mario was doing nothing. However, that came to a change, and since this chapter and entire story as a whole needs something to happen or else it shouldn't even be existing in the first place since it's most likely wasting away your time and effort, he decided to turn into a monkey, as a train came strolling along, running over him and his house. Bowser then ran towards the flattened mario and began carving the plumber into a pizza, of which all the birds nearby began to have a war over. Mario screamed as he turned back into his normal human self, but being bare naked, as several blocks fell on him, causing him to lose brain power as he got chased by angry, raging, furious (and yellow-colored) KILLER BEES.

Bowser then breathed fire on Mario, causing the red-capped Italian American human plumber and the bees to catch on fire. Mario screamed in pain as the fire sizzled his insides, trying to do barrel rolls as the bees stung at the same time and flopped on the ground to their fiery deaths. Suddenly, mud was dropped on Mario's head, dousing the flames, but making the plumber smelly as several firetrucks came running him over, winged blue shells aiming for him and blasting him several times into the air. Mario screamed his arms off, which they did pop off, and they formed faces, tap dancing to weird old fashioned music from the 20s and 30s as the entire background started shaking, turning grayish as it started to disturb the peace, which then blanked out, revealing nothing.

A normal, average day of Mario. What, did you actually expect that the plumber's life would be very normal as compared to our dull, reality? HA! Anything can happen to Mario and his friends in his world. Just about any single thing...


	37. The Day I Lost A Title

Mario was racing along in his trusty red-colored standard kart, having a quick round with Birdo. He was gaining on the pink Birdosaurus, when suddenly, he slipped on a banana peel, swerving around as he headed to the right side of the grassy racecourse. Getting his rear into gear, Mario started again, tossing two green Koopa shells at Birdo, one of them actually hitting her.

"Oh no!" Mario gasped as he jumped out of his kart and ran to Birdo, holding her in his arms. He took a moment to stare at her, before both were rammed into the sky by Bowser, who was riding in his orange colored kart.

"Gwa ha ha! Suckers!" Bowser laughed as he took off towards the western direction.


	38. Mario The Prostitute

Mario and Birdo were having a chat with each other in Birdo's house, sitting on the lovely red-and-pink fluffy couch that Birdo had completely crafted herself, drinking some British tea.

"Oh! Birdo, that new ring of yours looks great!"

"Isn't it? Bowser managed to get it for me."

"Bowser!? Where is that Koopa King!? I'll knock the daylights out of him!"

"Oh Mario, calm down, I only mentioned his name."

"Oh. Well, that makes it fine, then."

"Yeah. Besides, it's just the two of us together. There's no problem, right?"

"Of course not! After all, you were nice to let me be in your house!"

"Well, Mario, you know how much of a lady I am. Fufufufufu."

Kevin and Bobby were watching from outside, grinning as they looked at each other with sneaky looks as Mario and Birdo continued their chat.


	39. This Is So Short I Forgot To

Mario was chasing after the Big Bullet Bill, who challenged the red-capped Italian American plumber to a race. Mario jumped over the blocks that were on his way, turning right as he tried tossing his red hot fireballs at the Bullet Bill. The Bullet Bill didn't bother stopping as it propelled forward, leaving Mario to eat the dust. Mario tried dashing as fast as he could, but he tripped, landing flat on his face as a lone green Koopa shell was coming in contact, knocking him back into the air. Lying on the ground, Mario got up and dashed right after the Bullet Bill, being rather behind as he jumped over the bricks, forgetting to turn to the right as he bumped into a large boulder, the Bullet Bill flying off into the sky.

Kevin, Bobby, and Birdo all shook their heads in dismay as they watched Mario rub his nose in pain, shouting for the Bullet Bill to get back for unfairlingly cheating.


	40. Ask Dr Hoshi: The Vase

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he looked at what would consider to be insanity but instead turned out to be normal activities in the village. He turned around to see the camera in his face. "Whoa! Not too close, R.O.B." He insisted as he pushed the camera directly out of his face with his left hand.

R.O.B. nodded as he backed up a bit, allowing the purple Yoshisaurus scientist to get some coverage.

Dr. Hoshi cleared his throat as he held up an expensive pink-colored vase, explaining with great detail, "Now, this vase, as you can tell, is an amazing product of self high esteem and great stature. It has been handed down from Birdo's line of family for many years, and as such, she holds it very valuable to her, and if anything were to happen to it, just even a tiny crack, why, Birdo would simply-"

Mario then crashed into the doctor, causing him to drop the vase as the two fell on the floor. R.O.B. froze in his spot as Dr. Hoshi looked up, dropping his jaw in disbelief as his eyes widened with fear, seeing the broken shards of the vase.

"Well, that's all the time we have, goodbye, ladies and gentlemen!" Dr. Hoshi gulped as he and R.O.B. quickly ran out of their house.

Mario scratched his head in confusion, turning around to see the broken pieces. The red-capped, Italian American human plumber shrugged as he got up and stretched his arms, whistling as he placed his hands in his blue overalls pocket and strolled out of Dr. Hoshi's house, unexpectedly getting mauled by an angry Birdo shortly afterwards, who was somehow able to sense her precious vase being broken.

"Mamma mia!"


	41. Release The Crabs

Mario was in the deep, deep sewers, cleaning out some of the red-colored crabs that kept hoping out of the pipes. Mario grabbed one of the green shells and chucked it at an incoming line of crabs, knocking them off the platform. Mario grinned as he jumped up, knocking another crab on its side.

"Man, this is a piece of cake!" Mario stated to himself as he picked up the crab and chucked it at another, "If it was gonna be this easy, I would have done this ages ago!"

Mario continued clobbering the crabs, but he then felt a touch on his back. Mario turned around. No one was there. Scratching his head in confusion, Mario shrugged and continued clobbering the crabs. He stopped as he felt another tab on his back. Turning around, Mario looked sideways, being confused. Concerned, Mario faced forward, only to be punched in the face by a purple crab, foam coming from its mouth. Mario bumped into the green pipe in the back of the sewers, moaning as the purple crab yelped a victory cry, piercing its claws in the air.

Nearby the scene was Waluigi, who laughed evilly as he opened up a wooden crate, releasing more reddish crabs into the sewers. Dusting off his hands together, Waluigi laughed as he ran off, to let the crabs deal with the red-capped Italian American plumber once more. That Waluigi, what an ungrateful, mean, sinisterly cunning jerk.


	42. Oaked

Mario was doing some errands outside the Mushroom Kingdom, such as forcing the Goombas to work labor on the gardens, causing the Piantas to grow more trees, and most of all, forcing each and every Koopa Troopa to hand over their shell for use in the nearby sliding contests. Grabbing a specific green shell for himself, Mario headed up the nearby green grassy hill, positioned between a bluish penguin and a red-clothed Shy Guy.

"This is gonna be a friggin' piece of cake..." Mario muttered with confidence as he chuckled. As soon as the bell rang, Mario slid his way past the other two contestants, screaming with joy.

Unfortunately for him, he immeditaely crashed into the tall Oak tree that awaited him at the end of the hill.

Waluigi and Bowser, who were watching the antics of poor Mario from the bushes, laughed as they pounded each other.


	43. Those Damn Worms

Mario looked at the alarm clock across from his bunk bed, shaking as it urged him to get up. Sighing, Mario chucked the red covers off of himself as he jumped from the bed and landed flat on his face on the wooden planks, popping his face out and quickly changing from his red pajamas to his red shirt and blue overalls, grabbing the clock and chucking it out the window. As he had a quick breakfast filled with orange juice and toast, he headed out of his wooden house, to see brown-colored worms infecting the front lawn.

"Oh mamma mia, not again," Mario moaned as he slapped his forehead, and went to work on the lawn, picking up the worms and chucking them at another, burning them with fire, and kicking them into the air. As Mario got rid of each and every disgusting worm, he sighed of relief as he wiped his forehead, but stopped to see weeds growing in place. Gritting his teeth, the red-capped plumber began plucking them away, dusting his hands as his lawn looked better. Smiling, Mario turned back and headed inside, having more toast as he laid back in his personal wooden chair.

A large boulder out of nowhere then fell on him.

"Expecting some peace and quiet?" Waluigi stated as he poped up on the scene, folding his skinny arms. "Too bad. Waluigi Time."


	44. Mario Races Kevin On Ice

"Ready... 3... 2..." The Lakitu waved his flag as he got out of the way from the two racers, watching them slide head first onto the icy slide, "GO!"

Mario and Kevin The Koopa Troopa were both sliding down a very slippery icy path, turning to the right as they avoided crashing into an iceberg. Mario pushed into Koopa, and he then jumped up, landing on the path above, sliding on his rear as he gained faster acceleration. Kevin continued sliding within his green comfortable shell, smoothly sliding through the rough curves.

As the two paths made a gangway for the left and right, both Mario and Kevin chose thier paths wisely, with Koopa heading left-left-right-left-right and Mario heading right-left-left-left-right, the two separate paths rejoining each other. Mario was gaining some speed, and he quickly grabbed a fake Item Box and chucked it in front of Kevin, watching him fall out of his shell after colliding into the fake box. Grinning, Mario jumped up into the air and did his cute victory pose as he grabbed the Star and headed out of the wooden cabin, while poor Kevin was unsuccessful at trying to get back his precious shell.

Birdo watched as Mario continued dancing spectacularly, turning to her left to face Sonic The Hedgehog. "Did he go fast enough?"

Sonic rubbed his chin as he thought about this, shrugging as he closed his green eyes. "Better, but not my a long shot."


	45. Painting

Mario was too busy trying to paint his house red, since Bowser was being a jerk and wanted the house to stay green. Mario scoffed at the idea of the house being green, so he was busy at work making the house looking pleasant. As he continued painting, Toad came buy, with a couple of sandwiches in his hands.

"Hey Mario! I got these sandwiches, but I'm afraid I'll make myself full if I eat them all," Toad stated as he looked up at Mario, "Care to have some with me?"

Mario turned around, but sadly enough, he was not paying any attention at all, and the paint can fell on top of him, covering him in red paint. Toad gasped as his jaw dropped, the sandwiches dropping on the ground as the ants all scuttled nearby and ate the sandwiches in hordes within seconds, all of them scuttling away with no crum or speck left. Toad looked down at the ground to notice this, and he frowned, looking up at Mario and sweatdropping as Mario came down, grumbling how he had to clean the paint of him.

"Umm, Mario, I'm, uhh... sorry?" Toad stuttered as he watched Mario walk past him and enter the house, shutting the door and locking it as Toad sighed and sat on the front porch, resorting to talk to himself, "Man, me and my big mouth."


	46. Bo Bomb Insanity

Mario looked at the fusing Bo-Bomb he was holding in the palm of his hands, sweatdropping nervously as he pondere dwhat to do with the ticking bomb. Seconds passed by as the Bo-Bomb stored more and more energy, ready to explode at any given moment. Mario frantically ran around, trying to find a place to dump the Bo-Bomb, but he had no luck. He tried hiding it behind a rock, but he then thought about what would happen to the tiny pieces that would fall from the sky back to the ground.

But there was no time to waste on thinking! The Bo-Bomb was flashing bright red as its black color was fading, signalling the coming of the explosion. mario then tucked the Bo-Bomb under his red cap, smiling as he accomplished something. But a few seconds later, he realized that the Bo-Bomb would cause him to be sent blasting off in the horizon, and he knew that was NO good. So, using the intelligence he had, Mario ran to a nearby emtpy barn shed and dumped the Bo-Bomb in some old hay, rushing fifteen meters away and hiding within the bushes as he heard a muffled explosion.

"Phew! That-a was too close," Mario stated with glee after wiping his forehead, getting out of the bushes and walking back to his house, only to be confronted with one hundred and fifty one flashing Bo-Bombs, all ready to explode. Mario's face turned white, and the red-capped Italian American plumber fainted from the sheer shock as they all exploded in unison, leaving a crater the size of a football stadium within the earth, with mario's fainted body sent blasting off.


	47. Bowser Beats Up Mario

Mario was taking another usual walk around the Mushroom Kingdom, until Bowser ran up to him, a glazed look in the Koopa King's eyes. Mario noticed this, and he frowned, taking off his red cap and scratching his head. Bowser continued glaring straight at Mario, his fangs dripping with poison.

"...Bowser... are you okay...?" Mario asked as he made a worried expression on his face, a bit freaked out.

Bowser snarled, but he then smiled at the look of the frightened Mario. Mario then smiled back, but he was suddenly punched right in the air, going straight into the atmosphere as Bowser laughed his head off, and stomped off back to who knows where. Thirty eight seconds later, Mario came back crashing down with a loud thud in the ground, greatly wounded.

Waluigi, who was watching from the bushes, laughed at Mario's misfortune, sipping some nice hot choco while he did.


	48. What Title?

Mario was running as fast as he can as he tried to avoid being crushed by the gigantic shadow that was chasing him. turning around to the left by a nearby alley, Mario ran, huffing and puffing as he sweated nervously, glancing back to see the object coming closer and closer. Gulping with fright, Mario came across a dead end, and he ducted, covering his head with his red cap as he trembled, the shadow coming closer as it chuckled deviously. Mario looked up, to see that the shadow started chucking hammers at him. Screaming with all his might and pride hanging on the wire, Mario began running again, climbing the wall and running out on the grassy green meadow beyond the streets of Toad Town.

As Mario continued to run for his dear life, the shadow followed him, chuckling hammers like there was no tomorrow. Mario tripped over a small rock and started tumbling down the steep hill, hurting his back in several painful positions as he reached the bottom. Adjusting his neck, Mario turned around, and was smacked in the mouth with a hammer, being swung around and then flung into the clear blue sky. Mario screamed as he flailed his arms about, crashing into a small pond nearby, getting all soaked.

Getting up, Mario shook himself to attempt to dry his clothes, only to see the shadow standing right in front of him. mario then growled as he realized that the shadow was merely a green Hammer Bro, who snickered as he chucked another hammer at Mario. This time, however, the red-capped Italian plumber snatched the hammer and started smacking down on the Hammer Bro, continuing until it was knocked out cold. Mario sighed as he looked up, and then started running away, heading back to the little town where he resided as he wanted to be as far as possible from the knocked out Hammer Bro.


	49. Mario The Pingas Head

Mario was trying to get his toaster out of the cannon, but it seemed to not be working as the cannon was quite tightly sealed. Mario sighed as he continued struggling, though he stopped when he felt a bone in his hip suddenly crack.

"Yeowch! Mamma mia..." Mario moaned in pain as he rubbed his back, wincing in pain. "That-a smarts!" He turned around, trying to head to the cabinets, when Waluigi came out of nowhere and landed on him, causing Mario to moan even more.

"Expecting more than two hundred words per chapter?" Waluigi stated as he placed on sunglasses, smirking like the magnificent bastard he was. "Too Bad. Waluigi Time." He tapped on Mario's head as he broke right through the front door, the wind blowing into the house.

Mario screamed as the summer breeze picked his flattened body up, causing him to be blown all over the place with ease.


	50. Chapter 50! Mario Vs Waluigi!

Mario and Waluigi were both face to face with each other. Mario growled as he adjusted his red cap, whereas Waluigi snickered sinisterly as he took out his purple whip, holding it in his right hand. The wind blew on the otherwise empty battlefield, and the two plumbers chased towards each other, resulting in a battle. The two being knocked out by their own punch each, Mario and Waluigi jumped into combat again, with Waluigi using his electrical Waluigi Tornado, electrocuting Mario and causing him to crash onto the ground from the wind. Waluigi chuckled as he cracked his whip at the wounded red-capped plumber, but Mario rolled out of the way and began tossing red fireballs at Waluigi's way. Waluigi whipped the fireballs out of the way, and he stomped right on Mario, slapping him with his whip.

Mario then caught Waluigi in between the legs, and caused him to fall back on the ground. Waluigi hissed as Mario got up and started swinging him around and around. With enough gravity, Mario chucked Waluigi into a nearby bomb, and watched as Waluigi was blasted into the sky. Waluigi came back down on his feet, and he strangled Mario with his whip, swinging him around until he came face to face with Waluigi. Grinning evilly, Waluigi kicked Mario right in the face, sending him back on the ground. Waluigi chuckled as he attempted another kick, with Mario chucking a fireball at Waluigi's rear.

Screaming in pain from the burns, Waluigi shook the fire off, and he fully charged tackled right into mario. Mario hold off his own, and he pushed against Waluigi, picking him up from the ground and chucking him at another bomb. Waluigi collapsed on the ground, gasping after the explosion. Grinning, Mario summoned a large fireball, and chucked it right at Waluigi. However, at the last moment, Waluigi countered with his whip, and the fireballs was sent back at Mario, burning the red-capped plumber intensely. Mario collapsed on the ground from the powerful heat, unable to stand up. Waluigi chuckled, before he, too, collapsed, unable to stand up as well. The battlefield was completely quiet as neither opponent was able to get back up.


	51. Mario's Trouble Tag

Mario was running away from Bowser, who was outraged because Mario has written graffiti all over his precious castles. Mario giggled like a Japanese schoolgirl, feeling the joy of running away as he jumped over several snapping Piranha Plants, jumping into a nearby bush, remaining still as Bowser stopped right in front of it and roared loudly.

"MARIO! GET YOUR PIZZA-FILLED BUTT OUT HERE! NOW!" The King of the Koopas roared with rage as his sharp claws became even bigger, and he began furiously slashing against the bushes.

Mario chuckled as he started crawling out of the way, heading on the dirt paved road, noticing a hollow hole within an old, withered oak tree. Smirking as he glanced behind to see Bowser burning up the bush, Mario ran straight into the hole, concealing it so Bowser wouldn't get in. After destroying the bush with his powerful fire, Bowser ran straight up to the oak tree, noticing that he could hear Mario's giggling from inside.

"... Heh." Bowser rolled his eyes with a sinister grin as he picked up the Oak tree from the base and began shaking it, bellowing with laughter, "This old tree wont' save you, tomato twerp!"

Mario's giggles of glee turned into screams as he fell down the hollowed bank of the Oak tree and landed right on Bowser's mouth, being bitten by Bowser's teeth and severely burned by Bowser's fire. Knocked unconscious on the ground with one swift pow of the Koopa Klaw, Mario was dragged by his feet by Bowser, who only chuckled dastardly as he planned more evil deeds he planned on the poor red-capped plumber...


	52. Gusty Garden

Mario held his cap on tightly as he went through the gusty winds, almost being pushed back towards the eastern direction as the brave, red-capped Italian American plumber marched on forward, not afraid of anything.

"Mamma mia! If the winds were-a going to be that-a bad, I would have brought an extra pair of wind repellent!" Mario exclaimed as he pressed on forward, not thrown off by the powerful gusts. He continued moving on, not being thrown off. Inch by inch, foot by foot, he knew that he could do it. He would do it, he will do it. For it... was his destiny.

And all the work he had put into fighting against the gusty wind would all be for naught if Mario screwed up right then and now. He knew that to get to his ultimate goal, he had to brave the gusty winds. He survived hot fiery volcanoes, braved sandy deserts, tunneled through abandoned mines, make it out of a poison gas filled maze, and even swam to the deepest depths of the ocean. But all would be seemingly fruitless had Mario not be able to fight off against the gusty wind. As he got closer, Mario felt more, more, more, and more determined, his eyes flaring brightly with red and yellow flares, his teeth gritting, sweat pouring down from both sides of his face. He would be a fool to give up now.

"Come on, Mario... closer... closer... yes...! Almost there...!"

At last, Mario sighed of relief as he collasped on a bright emerald, landing right on its right exterior as he started crying out of joy. Picking up the rather large emerald, Mario made his way back to his home, guided by the gusty wind, which was not as much as a problem beforehand, thankfully enough.


	53. Pikachu and Beedrills

Mario and Pikachu were both running side by side as they were trying to get away from an angry swarm of Beedrill, who were awaken from their rest. Mario turned around, and noticed that the Beedrill were starting to fire their Pin Missiles at the two, Clutching Pikachu in his arms, Mario made a mad dash as far as he could to avoid getting missiled, but he slipped on the mud and tumbled downhill, holding Pikachu dearly. As Mario crashed into a rock, Pikachu jumped from Mario's arms and pulled the injured red-capped plumber, the Beedrill following swiftly. Pikachu started dashing, and he fired short bursts of electricity to hold off the Beedrill, but they kept coming towards the pair.

Pikachu placed Mario behind a bush, and the yellow electrical rat began using Iron Tail on the Poison Bee Pokemon, following off with a Thunderbolt. The Beedrill, however, all swarmed towards Pikachu, and started stabbing the mouse with their sharp stingers. Pikachu screamed in pain, but he managed to use Quick Attack to help wound the Beedrill.

As Mario tried healing his wounds with a mushroom, he stood up on his legs and charged up several red hot fireballs, chucking them upward at the Beedrill. The Beedrill focused their attention on Mario, and they all swarmed towards him. Mario got into a defensive position as the Beedrill attacked in unison, their stingers piercing his soft, pudgy body. Mario, however, only merely grinned, as he started spinning around, chucking fully charged fireballs everywhere. The Beedrill all fell on the ground from the intense burns, barely moving. Mario ran towards Pikachu, who was flat on his stomach in pain. Mario took out a green-colored 1-Up Mushroom and handed it to Pikachu, reviving the mouse Pokemon. Pikachu looked up at Mario, and smiled as he hugged Mario. Mario, grinning after succeeding in defeating the deadly bug Pokemon, hugged Pikachu back, and together, the two healed partners both headed out the dangerous forest, heading back to the Mushroom Kingdom.


	54. A Tennis Game With Koopa

Mario was having a friendly tennis match with his local green-shelled friend, Koopa Troopa, playing on the grassy tennis court that was built right outside of Mario's house, in the front yard. Mario served the yellowish green ball, and smacked it towards the right. Koopa dashed as fast as he could and returned the ball smoothly. Mario grinned, and he simply padded the ball, watching it slowly bounce on Koopa's side. Koopa ran towards the net, but frowned as the Lakitu watching the game picked the ball up and tossed it to Mario, who caught it with his left hand.

As Mario served the ball again, this time towards the left, Koopa made the ball bounce high, causing the red-capped Italian American plumber to run towards the back of the grassy field. As Mario charged up his shot, he aimed towards the right, with Koopa running forward and simply padding it. Mario quickly pounced forward, managing to strike the ball into the air, but Koopa was swift and made a quick shot past Mario towards the right. Mario slapped his forehead as he received the ball again, and once more served it. As Koopa padded it slowly, Mario charged up, and smacked it into the air, with Koopa replying with a swift shot. Mario, however, managed to swiftly smack the ball towards the middle, accidentally hitting Koopa.

As Koopa rubbed his nose and shook his head, he prepared to smack the ball as Mario served it close to the middle. As Koopa whacked the ball, Mario swerved it towards the right, but Koopa retreated into his green-colored shell and smacked the ball upward. Mario jumped up into the air and smashed the ball downwards, bouncing over Koopa and started rolling slowly as Koopa lowered his head, shaking his head. Mario grinned, and he jumped over the net, to shake Koopa's hand and congratulate him for a good game. Koopa sighed, but he then smiled, and both he and Mario went inside to have a nice glass of orange juice, while the Lakitu grabbed the tennis ball and flew into the horizon.


	55. Chargin' Chuckles

Mario was running from a bunch of angry Chargin' Chucks, who were enraged at the red-capped middle aged plumber for stealing their football. As Mario held the football close to his chest, he climbed several gates and hid behind some Bowser statues, watching as the Chargin' Chucks knocked the gates down with brute force and started running straight towards Mario. Gulping, mario headed towards his right, jumping over the pool of hot lava.

"Mamma mia! I never knew that Koopa Football Players would be so enraged over a football!" Mario exclaimed as he tripped, dropping the football into the lava.

The Chargin' Chucks screamed in horror as they witnessed what happened to the football. Mario turned around, looked at the burning football that then submerged into the lava, and then worriedly looked up at the Chargin' Chucks, chuckling nervously. Seeing them pounding their fists as hurling boulders into the lava to make paths of their own, Mario got his rear into gear, grabbed a feather, and took to the air, adorning his yellow cape as he used the air to escape th wrath of the angry Koopa Football Players.


	56. Mario Races an Icy Penguin

Mario was runing alongside a blue penguin as they sled towards the goal on ice on their bellies. Mario used his hands to keep his figure within the icy curves as the penguin chirped and jumped into the air, making a stylish move as he landed back on his belly. A tad jealous, mario jumped into the air over a curve towards the right and did his victory pose as he made it back onto the icy path, sliding towards the left. Noticing this, The penguin bumped into Mario as the icy path joined together, heading downwards.

Mario growled as he pushed back, heading towards the left with the penguin following as he swerved to the right. mario jumped up into the air to avoid smashing into the rock, the penguin doing the same as the icy path jpined again. Mario sighed as he continued sliding down, though to his surprise, the penguin managed to slide past him, taunting as he slid downwards and headed towards the right. mario groaned, and e swerved to the left again, swerving two times to the right and once to the left and he ducked, not being knocked by a log above his head.

Mario glanced over to see that the penguin was getting faster, and the red-capped Italian American plumber gave it up as he continued sliding down and crashed into a large rock as the penguin slid past the starting line and won the race, laughing and chirping with glee as he held the trophy high and proud.


	57. Cobrat Attack

Mario looked around him as he felt a strange presence coming. The red-capped plumber could feel his heart pounding as several red Cobrats came slithering towards him. Jumping up into the air, Mario took a mad dash through the brushy grass towards the east direction, being chased by the hissing snakes, who all fired small bullets at him. Mario ducked several of them, and he also jumped, but he crashed into a tall Oak tree, falling on his back. Shaking his head, Mario quickly got to his feet and took off to his left, only to be confronted by three angry Cobrats. Gulping, Mario slowly stepped back, only to get strangled by the three Cobrats.

Two other Cobrats from the back appeared, and they stared firing bullets from behind, wounding Mario. Mario screamed in pain from the bullets as he tried freeing himself, but the Cobrats' grip was too much of power. Growling, Mario took one bite into the Cobrat that strangled him by the neck, and it caused the snake to fall off. Mario summoned two red hot fireballs in his hands, and chucked it at the two Cobrats behind him. Mario then pulled off the remaining two Cobrats on him, and he started digging underground. The Cobrats hissed as they followed, firing their bullets down the hole. Regardless of the bullets, Mario continued digging like there was no tomorrow. He panted, and panted, and he continued to dig, until he broke through a part of mushy ground, which caused him to fall down a pit, landing one hundred and seventy eight feet in an underwater current.

The Cobrats hissed angrily as they watched Mario being swept away. Mario sighed of relief as he rubbed his forehead, though he turned around, and screamed in horror as he fell over a rushing waterfall. Mario tried swimming away, but not even his multitalented abilities could help him, and he screamed as he headed downwards the waterfall.


	58. Fighter Flies

As Mario was walking on the dirt-paved road, he looked ahead and gasped, noticing an abandonded watermelon bar. Feeling thirsty and lucky, the red-capped Italian plumber rushed over, jumping over the counter and looking around within the bar to see if there was any fruits. He then looked up and gasped, to see several Fighter Flies glancing right at him.

Gulping nervously, Mario chuckled as he took off his red cap and scratched his brown hair, nervously stating, "Umm... it's a-me, Mario...?"

The Fighter Flies started buzzing around Mario as they attacked him. Mario ducked onto the floor, trying to protect himself from the swift ambush. He started crawling his way out, only to find that the Fighter Flies stopped buzzing over him and began spitting at him. Groaning in disgust as he wiped the green spit off his face, mario got onto his feet and started chucking his red hot fireballs, causing the Fighter Flies to plop to the ground as they were burned alive. Mario grinned, and he turned around to search some fruit, when he paused with fear, hearing buzzing coming from ll sides of him. The red-capped Italian American plumber was not sure where it was coming from, but he had no time to prepare, as a mass of angry Fighter Flies ambushed him, covering him in swarms as he screamed for help, with no one replying.


	59. Tumbling Down The Abyss

Mario kept screaming as he tumbled down a seemingly dark abyss. Bowser and Waluigi both looked down, laughing at Mario's misfortune as they did not bother to help the red capped Italian American plumber.

"Looks like he won't climb his way out of this one,"Bowser stated boldly as he folded his arms, laughing his head off as he deviously grinned, "Too bad it's Mario's end right here."

Waluigi laughed as he nodded in agreement, wrapping his arm around Bowser. "You said it, King Koopa! It pays off to be mean!" He and Bowser continued laughing evilly as they left the abyss behind.

Mario continued screaming as he bumped into harsher rocks, his body not being able to handle it as his consciousness was slipping away.


	60. Barrels and Bananas

Mario screamed as several barrels were being chucked at him. The red capped Italian American plumber managed to jump over these barrels, but they kept coming towards him anyway. Bowser, who was chucking the barrels, and Waluigi, who was tossing several banana peels on the conveyor belt, watched with glee as Mario was unsuccessful at running away.

"Oh mamma mia, what did I do to deserve this!" Mario shouted as he tripped on a banana peel, landing right on his face as several barrels rolled over him, flattening the plumber like a pancake.

Bowser and Waluigi heartily laughed as they high fived each other, contuing to give Mario the worst case of hell the poor plumber has ever experienced.


	61. I've Stopped Trying

Mario screamed as several balls fell on him like tehre was no tomorrow. Bowser laughed as he poured hot lava on Mario, causing the red capped plumber to run around, being burtn alive. Waluigi suddenly appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Mario and squashing him into an accordian, tossing him into a nearby vehicle cruncher.

"What the?" Mario exclaimed as he gasped, popping himself back to normal as he tried to run away, but ended up getting squashed.

Waluigi and Bowser laughed as they poured more lava on the wounded plumber, watching Mario groan in pain as he was burtn and flattened.


	62. I've REALLY Stopped Trying

Mario was attacked by a Koopa wizard, and a Magnium Bill, both of which were sent to destroy him by Bowser. Waluigi snickered as Mario tried his best to escape, but he crashed into a wall.

"Why must this chapter be short?" Mario asked as the Koopa wizard electrocuted him, with the magnium bill crashing into him, causing him to spiral in the sky.

Waluigi shrugged as he simply stated, "Because this story sucks. That's why." He popped out a can of Pepsi as he drunk it, while Bowser was on his back, laughing heartily.


	63. No More Titles

"GET THE COOKIE!" Mario screamed as he fell in a sewer. "GET THE COOKIE! GOD DAMN IT, COME DOWN HERE AND HELP ME GET THE FUCKING COOKIE!"

Kevin, Birdo, Dr. Hoshi, Bowser, and Waluigi looked down as Mario was flailing about in the sewer, screaming for help as he tried getting his cookie. Suddenly, spaghetti came down, causing Mario to drown.

"...He was a good soul, that Mario," Dr. Hoshi said as he closed his eyes, with everyone except Bowser and Waluigi paying respect, the latter two laughing their heads of, being the jackasses that they were.


	64. Chapter 64

Mario farted.

Bowser came right behind Mario and started beating him up. Bowser then lit Mario on fire.

The entire area caught on fire, to the degree that it caused Mario and Bowser to turn into ash, their eyes falling right on top of the piles they turned into.

Waluigi came by, looking down to see what has happened to Mario and Bowser.

He laughed. And left, never to return.

* * *

"...What the hell do you call this crap?" Dr. Hoshi said appalled as he tossed the script into the garbage, firing Kevin, who apparently had no good conception of what a plot was suppose to be like.


	65. Chapter 65

Mario got something caught in his throat. It was a tuna, and a very big one, at that.

What was he thinking, this wasn't actual fanfiction. This was just a horrible sham set up by the author to get in free hits so that he would be able to sleep better at night. Mario knew this well, but unfortunately for him, there was nothing he could do about it. So he had the tuna stuck in his throat.

Of course, Bowser and Waluigi knew this as they were watching from Bowser's house. The two proceeded to laugh, anyway.


	66. Chapter 66

Mario tried to paunch, but he failed. So he met a horrible death set up by Bowser, which required over nine thousand bom, that Waluigi snuck out from the nearby factory, not using the spellcheck as he was too fucking lazy too actually give a crap. Mario tried to come back to life, but he failed.

Bowser sneered as he folded his arms, shaking his head. He turned to Waluigi, sighing. "You know what's sad?"

"What?" Waluigi asked as he set the nine thousand bombs lit, causing a huge fiery explosion that caused the acypolis.

Bowser lowered his head in shame as he sighed, closing his eyes. "This fanfic is likely ten times better than most fanfic both on this site and the entire Internet."

"Indeed. Such a shame," Waluigi agreed as he took off his cap, looking down in disappointment.


	67. Chapter 67

Mario tried taking a poop, but things were not going well for him. Mario continued grunting in pain as (lol, it sounds like pingas) Bowser and Waluigi broke through the door, causing Mario to scream as he urinated on the ceiling. Bowser and Waluigi bursted into laughter as they took a picture of this extremely embarrassing moment for Mario.

"Gotcha, stupid plumber!" Bowser stated as he gave Mario the middle finger, running out of the bathroom.

Waluigi laughed as he placed a motion sensor bomb on the floor, waving at Mario as he winked. "Looks like you have to deal with two bombs, Blandio." Waluigi laughed as he, too, rushed out.

Mario grunted as he made another poop, looking at the motion sensor bomb with worry as it ticked away. Suddenly, without any time to prepare himself...

Mario went boom.


	68. Chapter 68

Mario today was watching some television in his house, not noticing the snooping Koopa Troopas that were attempting to barge in. As Mario laughed his head off, a window broke, and feet scurrying in the house were head, but the red-capped plumber did not hear a thing. Instead, he continued watching his favorite show, comfortably sitting in his personal red sofa. As the Koopa thieves took several objects, they heard Mario getting up from his sofa, and they all fled. As Mario entered into the kitchen, he looked around, his jaw dropped in disbelief as he noticed the muddy tracks and the broken cabinets.

"Mamma mia!" Mario exclaimed, running to a cabinet on the far left, looking in and sighing of relief as his prized possesion - a golden Koopa shell - was left intact. Making sure no one was around, Mario grabbed the golden shell and took it with him, back to his sofa, and resumed watching his TV show, which was 'Buzzy Beetles on the Bus'.

Two hours and seventeen minutes later, Luigi came back from Toadette's tea party, carrying his tea with him. As he took a sip of the tea and placed the cup by the sink, Luigi's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he noticed what has happened to the house. He rushed into the living room, only to see Mario watching the TV, who turned around and just smiled sheepishly. In response, Luigi slapped his forehead, groaning as he grabbed a broom and started cleaning the kitchen.


	69. Strawberries

Mario noticed several strawberries planted on a wooden bridge towards the western direction. Looking around to see nothing but waterfalls and bright cherries hanging in mid air, Mario shrugged as he ran over the bridge towards the strawberries. A trap activated, causing Mario to fall right through the gap in the bridge, screaming as he fell into the cold water.

Mario poked his head out of the water, coughing as he looked up, to see Bowser Jr. popping out of the bushes, laughing at Mario as he stuck his tongue out. Mario growled as he shook his fists angrily trying to splash out of the water as he fell over a large waterfall, screaming as he made a spectacular thud, while Bowser Jr. devoured the delicious strawberries he purposely placed on the bridge.

"Heh heh heh... sucker!" Bowser Jr. muttered as he laughed his head off, very evilly.


	70. Chapter 70

Mario questioned his position on the pole as he looked down the seemingly endless pit. He turned around, asking Bowser and Waluigi if it was okay to go down. Bowser and Waluigi both smirked as they glanced at each other, nodding at Mario. Shrugging, Mario took their word for it as he adjusted his red cap and jumped down, screaming as he tumbled on every hard craggy rock, severely injuring his body as he reached the bottom, which was covered with sharp pointed rocks.

Bowser and Waluigi laughed as they heard Mario being impaled greatly. Luckily for Mario, he had some green 1 Up mushrooms hidden in his blue colored overalls, which was extemely useful as the toll he just took... was extremely painful and to the point.

"**GET THE HINT?**" Mario moaned weakly as he could barely move, in extreme pain.


	71. Chapter 71

Mario opened the closet door to see if he had left anythiung in it. Luckily for him, there was a nice little sandwich wedged in between a set of books he placed up.

"Oh, so that's where my sandwich has been!" Mario commented as he grabbed the nice sandwich, whistling as he munched on it.

Sadly for the red capped Italian American plumber, the book shelf shook and the books promptly fell on Mario, burying him and his precious sandwich. Mario tried his best to get out, but sadly, there was simply no way for him to do so. Outside, watching this were Bowser, Bowser Jr., and Waluigi, who all laughed at Mario's misfortune.


	72. Chapter 72

Mariorch, reading the enclosed instruction book that he kept on babbling about, when out of the blur whizzed Sonic The Hedgehog, who surprised the red capped plumber. Mario screamed as he fell flat on his face on the grass, with Sonic chuckling as he wagged his right index finger. Mario snarled as he looked up, lunging at Sonic, but instead missing, landing on his face again.

"Come on, Mario! You gotta be faster than that!" Sonic urged as he chuckled, zooming out of the area and heading westward.

Mario growled as he adjusted his red cap, cracking his knuckles as he chased after Sonic.


	73. Chapter 73

Mario noticed something strange. He looked up, to see that the puffy white clouds in the clear blue sky were telling him something.

"Hmm?" Mario wondered curiously as he took a closer look. Wincing, he gasped as his mustache dropped along with his jaw, seeing the saying.

Kevin K. Koopa walked over to Mario, wondering what the red capped Italian American plumber was gasping about. He looked up, dropping his jaw in disbelief as well as he noticed why Mario was in awe. The words in the puffy clouds spelled, "Snoo**PING AS** usual, I see, 'eh ya dear frickin' pesky plumber?"


	74. Chapter 74

Mario and Kevin K. Koopa were looking down a well. They looked at each other, wondering who would go down in the well.

"I don't know. You check it out." Mario insisted as he pushed Kevin forward.

"Okay." Kevin complied as he shrugged, climbing into the well as he then started falling down, screaming as he landed on his head with a big thud.

Mario gasped in horror as he looked down the well, terrified. "Holy crap, you okay there?"

"Uh... no." Kevin admitted, feeling as if he broke some of his bones in his back as he struggled to get up.


	75. Chapter 75

mario was being chased by seven angry monkeys, all who were pied in the face by the red capped plumber. Birdo and Kevin watched from a safe distance as Mario tripped, getting ganged up on by the raving monkeys.

"I could use a little help here!" Mario screamed as the monkeys scratched him.

Birdo and Kevin looked at each other, and shrugged as they left.

"Thanks a lot!" Mario cried out in pain as he punched some monkeys off, seeing Sonic zip by him. "Hey! Sonic, hyelp me out here!"

Sonic thought for a moment, but he shrugged, smirking. "Mmmm.. nah. I think you can handle this all by yourself." He then zipped off.

"Some friend you are!" Mario shouted in rage as he struggled to get out from the monkeys' grip.


	76. Chapter 76

Mario was wondering what Ganon was up to was Gwonam The Wizard arrived by carpet, landing in front of Mario, handing the plumber an old, withered map.

"Here! Just take it and leave me alone!" Gwonam inisted as he quickly vanished, squadalahing off again.

"What is this, anyway?" Mario shouted as he briefly looked at the map, holding it in his right hand.

"I don't know, but it's not my problem anymore!" Gwonam shouted back as he crashed through an airplane, a horrible fiery explosion taking place.

Mario shrugged as he opened the old map, looking over it. Suddenly, the map grew a mouth, and it hissed at Mario as it devoured him.

"Oh sweet lord, help!" Mario screamed as he tumbled down into the map's disgusting stomach, which wasn't even possible.


	77. Chapter 77

Mario was having a brief meeting with Birdo and Golly The Goomba as they wondered what to do today.

"I just wonder what today-" Mario started as he was immediately interrupted.

"It's always the same thing every single day! And here you are, sitting on your fat ass, doing nothing but wasting your precious life away!" Golly scowled as she jumped up and down impatiently, pointing out a very interesting fact.

Mario sighed as she rested his head on his arms. "You're right. I should do something more productive..."

"Like make better stories?" Birdo suggested.

"And focus on better characters." Golly added.

"And actually give in some details." Birdo pinpointed as she adjusted her red colored bow.

"And not lazily work on it even though you promised it, making you a big hypocrite." Golly added up.

Silence. Birdo and Golly slowly stared at the computer screen, eyeing you, the reader, suspiciously as Mario slowly raised his head, a curious look on his face.

"...Why does this sound like a certain someone?" Mario questioned as he took off his cap and scratched his head.

**

* * *

**

...gah! Even the damn characters are aware of it, too! I gotta hide it with something... oh! Duh! I'll just make this the seventy seventh chapter, and no one will ever notice! Am I an evil genius or what?


	78. Chapter 78

Mario was listening to his own theme song, which has totally not been remixed to INFINITY as he was trying to think of something to write. Snapping his fingers, he started drabbling down somthing, looking upon it as he cleared his throat.

"Now, the title of this baby is Why So Immature," The red-capped Italian American plumber stated, obviously not trying to use the time as a pathetically embarrassing way to increase the word count for no reason whatsoever, "And now, for the story itself. The..."  
There practically was nothing after 'The'.

"PERFECT!" Mario exclaimed with joy as he jumped up, ran straight out of his house, and handed it to Toadsworth, begging him to publish it. Toadsworth took one look at the 'story', and then took off his glasses, whacking Mario on the head with his good ol' trusted cane.

"Master Mario, I apologize for being rude, but what are you, four?" Toadsworth barked back as he placed his glasses on and teared apart the pieces of paper, heading off back to the castle.

Mario stood there, his jaw dropped in disbelief as he lost all hope and decided to quit writing.

"Screw writing!" he shouted as he flung his red cap into the air, "I can always join the circus! That's better than writing a stupid story, anyway!" And join the circus did he. March on, Mario... march on.


	79. Chapter 79

Today, Mario was taking his usual stroll around the neighborhood national park of IQue Square, noticing all of the blooming wild flowers to his left and steady food crops to his right. The red-capped, iconic human Italian plumber noticed that there were a few pieces of corn on the ground, and he followed them into the grass by turning left.

As Mario curiously followed the pieces of corn with high interest, he stopped upon a grassy patch, seeing small Pidgey feeding on corns on the cob. Mario shook his head with a grin as he turned around to walk through the grassy field.

When Mario exited through the thick grass, he looked up to see a large air balloon coming down. As he watched the air balloon land safely on the ground, he watched the people leave, and he entered into it. Much to his surprise, Mario went up into the air as the air balloon rose up into the skies.

Mario tried his best to find a way to get down, but he managed to enjoy a nice view of the peaceful green meadows below him. Mario then got a grand idea, and he exited the balloon booth, holding onto the railing from the _outside_ of the balloon booth. Mario then grabbed a nearby green hose dangling from a nearby hotel building, and he used it to pull in the air balloon close to the building. Mario got onto the outdoor railing of the building, and he glanced behind him to see the air balloon fly off into the air without an owner.

Mario looked down, and gasped as he was fifty feet above the ground! Mario then decided to jump from the platform, and he spun around, using his tornado spin. Luckily, Mario repeated this attack several times, he managed to make it back to the ground in one piece! Sighing of relief, Mario turned around and headed to the western direction, after an exhilarating walk.


	80. Chapter 80

Mario was running through the deep interior of the frozen jungle. As the snow fell right on his head, he shook the snow off and continued running. He felt as if he was going rather sluggish, but was easily was due to the fact that the snow was slowing him down. As he climbed higher up the steep hill ahead, he watched the snowballs close to him roll down, and he looked up, screaming as a large snowball came rolling down right on him, flattening him as he started rolling with the snowball. The large snowball crashed into a tree, and it caused even more snow to fall on top of it. Popping his head out of the snow and shaking his head, Mario spat a bit as he dug his way out, jumping out from the snowy ground and running up the hill once more. As Mario got closer to the top, he jumped above another incoming snowball, sighing with relief as he wiped his forehead, heading up farther. Reaching up to the top, Mario looked around, and he scratched his head with confusion, confused to see nothing but snow and deciduous snow-covered trees.

As he continued pondering, a snowball hit Mario in the back, causing him to fall right into the cold snow. Sneezing, Mario rubbed his nose, and turned around, to be hit in the face by another snowball. Blinking, Mario's eyes widened as he noticed that a red-shelled Hammer Bro wearing a pink scarf was holding some snowballs in his right hand, laughing as he tossed several more at Mario. As Mario lied in the ground, he weakly got up, only to be hit by another of the Hammer Bro's snowballs. Mario growled, and he muttered quietly to himself,

"Time to show the turtle who's boss..."

Mario then started charging up his palms, which proceeded to become hot and melt the snow surrounding his body into water as a red aura formed. The Hammer Bro took a step back as he noticed Mario getting up, and screaming, the red-capped, in-fueled plumber started firing red hot fireballs at the Hammer Bro, burning up the scarfed turtle. The Hammer Bro screamed in pain as he was pelted into the snow by the fire, struggling to get back up as Mario continued firing his fireballs. After three minutes and twenty four seconds, Mario wiped his hands together and grinned as he turned around and headed down the hill, leaving the burned Hammer Bro in the freezing snow.

After rushing down the hill and accidentally tripping, resulting in becoming a snowball and crashing into yet another tree, Mario got up, and turning left, he headed towards the southwestern direction, to the nearby Ice Shack, which offered some nice, hot choco.


	81. Chapter 81

Mario was on the sandy, sun-drenched tropical beach that was south of Toad Town, enjoying a nice glass of lemonade as he relaxed on his red-and-yellow colored beach chair, feeling the nice summer breeze blowing into his face. The red-capped Italian American plumber sighed with relief as he took in the sun's powerful ultraviolet rays, not having a care in the world about the Mushroom Kingdom as he heard the delightful plays of the Koopa children nearby. Mario quickly took off his sunglasses, and looked up to see a pair of Bullet Bills blasting by, the sand tossed into the air behind them. Mario grinned, and shook his head as he sipped more of his lemonade, sighing heavenly once again.

"Mamma mia... this is the nicest-a weather I have ever felt-a outside of Toad Town..." Mario muttered to himself with satisfaction as he comforted himself a bit, hearing Yoshi running by with a Goomba and Blooper giving chase, playing tag. As Mario started snoozing quietly, a yellow frisbee was tossed nearby, of which belonged to a Chargin' Chuck as he ran over to get the frisbee, looking up and gasping to see Mario relaxing. Mario, however, heard this, and he turned his head to the right, to see the Chargin' Chuck.

"Yes? Can I-a help you?" Mario asked politely as he sipped more of his delicious, healthy lemonade.

The Chargin' Chuck became nervous, stuttering as sweat came down his face, gulping as he was shocked to have Mario talking to him. Mario raised his right eyebrow cautiously as the Chargin' Chuck had a rather hard time to get out his response.

"I-I-I-I...I'm s-s-such a b-b-big fan of y-y-yours..." The nervous Chargin' Chuck sighed as he fainted, twitching in angst, causing Mario to move his beach chair a bit away, shifting his eyes to the left and right as he sat back down and sighed, feeling the water splash on his face from the large waves that came in. All Mario could do from there on was smile and bob his head back with forth in comfort as he heard the visitors having fun in the water, splashing about as a larger wave came in, wetting half of the sandy beach as the yellowish sun got brighter and hotter.


	82. Chapter 82

Mario was bouncing on several red-spotted mushrooms, trying to collect as many red coins as possible. Of course, at first glance, this seemed impossible, but then again, Mario could do anything he pleased. As he nabbed the first red coin, he headed southward to te mushroom below, jumping and landing on it firmly as he grabbed the second red coin. Looking around, mario spotted two red coins in the air, one being carried by a Lakitu and another hoering around.

"D'oh! How am I suppose to nab those two when I don't even have FLUDD on me...?" Mario stated to himself as he sighed, snapping his fingers as he then got an idea. "Wait, that's it! FLUDD!" He turned around and spotted a blue nozzle box, jumping onto the platform and grabbing it, recieving FLUDD.

"Hello, Mario, how are you-" FLUDD was interrupted as Mario interrupted, running off the platform and switching to Hover nozzle, using FLUDD's ability to head upward towards the sky.

The Lakitu noticed this, and he laughed his head off as he began chucking several spinies at Mario. Mario used his yellow cape swiftly to propel the spinies back at Lakitu, making the Koopa fall off his cloud and allowing Mario to land on it as he nabbed the third red coin, moving towards the fourth hovering red coin within the coin. Mario aimed carefully, and at the right moment, he jumped, nabbing the fourth red coin just in time as he used FLUDD to hover back onto the cloud.

"Hey! This was much easier than I thought!" Mario exclaimed as he grinned, heading upward onto the platform above the bouncy mushrooms, jumping off the cloud and using FLUDD again to hover. As he made it onto the platform, Mario changed FLUDD to squirt mode, and blasted several green-shelled, four-legged Koopa Troopas away with water. He then made a dash for the fifth coin, and then jumped down, landing on a grassy vine as he swung towards the left, which contained a small cleft and the sixth red coin. One more swing, and Mario then jumped off, grabbing the ledge of the cleft as he grabbed the sixt red coin. He looked around, and scratched his head, not seeing any other red coins, when FLUDD bgan speaking.

"Mario, if my sensors are correct, the remaining two red coins of the eight are right below you..." FLUDD ponted out.

Listening keenly, and grinning as he brimme with energy, Mario jumped off the cleft and used FLUDD to hover just right under to collect theseventh and eight red coins, spotting a star out in the midst of the clouds. Mario quickly used what was left of FLUDD's hovering skills to land on the mushroom, and as he jumped on the platform and bursted the blue box to gain more water, Mario made a running dash towards the southwestern direction, jumping off with a slide and using FLUDD to hover him into a barrel cannon, which sent him straight up into the air and allowing him to land right on the mushroom, grabbing the bright yellow Star and celebrating as the camera zoomed out.

Now only one problem remained... how the heck would Mario get out of there?


	83. Chapter 83

Mario was eating some jelly filled donuts, because he was one lazy fat ass. When suddenly Waluigi jumped out of the bushes and started beating up Mario with a wooden plank!

"Wa! Ha! Ha! Ha!" Waluigi laughed with every bonk to Mario's head as he severely damaged the red capped plumber, kicking him down a pit that was right behind him.

Mario screamed as he flailed his arms about, landing on the bottom as he looked up, cold water coming down to fill up the pit. Waluigi laughed evilly as he pushed a gigantic grayish boulder over the pit, covering it as he walked away, tucking his purple cap forward as he whistled.


	84. Chapter 84

Mario glanced at Birdo, who was reading a book. He coughed as he rubbed the back of his head, moving closer to Birdo. The two were sitting on a green picnic bench just outside of their houses, in the front, that is.

"Hey Birdo-" He asked as Birdo raised her right index finger, still reading the book.

After fifteen seconds, Birdo looked up at Mario, tilting her head to the right.

Mario rubbed his right arm as he looked up at Birdo again, asking, "Why is it that these chapters are always short? I mean, are they designed to be breifly read so that no one would waste hours of their life or something?"

Birdo tapped her chin as she thought, looking back at Mario and explaining to the red capped plumber, "Well you see, Mario, as long as it's good and entertaining to you and gives you enough value for the rest of your mileage, it doesn't matter if it's as short as three seconds or as long as three hours. Just make the most out of it." She stood up as she kissed Mario on the forehead, heading back into her house. Mario rubbed his chin as he wondered about this further, wondering if the word count mattered at all.

...Which it didn't.


	85. Chapter 85

"It's going to be the one hundredth chapter soon!" Mario exclaimed with joy as he jumped in a beautiful meadow filled with many flowers.

Bowser and Waluigi both rolled their eyes, their arms folded as they watched Mario make a fool out of himself.

"What's so special about it when more than half of the chapters are crap, anyway?" Waluigi retorted as he pulled out his red rose, sniffing it.

Bowser nodded his head in agreement to what Waluigi stated, although he had nothing to say.

As Mario continued jumping around, Petey Piranha gobbled him up, chuckling as he felt Mario desperately trying to escape his horrifying mouth.


	86. Chapter 86

Mario was waking up on his bed, yawning loudly as he rubbed his eyes. Smacking his lips together, the iconic Italian American plumber took off his blue pajamas and placed on his regular red shirt and blue overalls, brushing his teeth shortly afterwards as he went to enjoy his breakfast. Strangely enough, Luigi was not there, so Mario made his own breakfast. Within a few minutes, Mario enjoyed a healthy balance of Mushroom Minis cereal, bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, waffles, sausages, and a nice tall glass of orange juice, along with milk on the side. Oddly enough, instead of a muffin, Mario had a banana instead, feeling the need for potassium.

After a nice delicious mix of breakfast, Mario headed out of his house, smelling the fresh, clean air. As he headed off his front porch, he hoped into the green warp pipe and headed into Toad Town, heading out the exit to the west. Going off on yet another adventure (seriously, this guy alone has more adventures than anyone imaginable, even more than Mickey Mouse!), Mario started running within the green, grassy meadows, coming up against the norm of the Mario platformers - Koopa Troopas, Piranha Plants, Bullet Bills, Lakitus. As Mario jumped over a red-shelled Koopa Troopa that walked on all four of its legs, Mario spotted a line of seventeen two-legged, green-shelled Koopas. Getting an idea, Mario quickly jumped on the previous Koopa and grabbed the red shell, chucking it at the line of two-legged Koopas, watching the turtles being knocked out on their backs as the red shell continued spinning. Grinning, Mario jumped on each of the Koopas, breaking their fragile shells as he continued running.

A pair of red-spotted Piranha Plants snapped at Mario as he approached them. Noticing how big the warp pipes were, Mario closed his eyes as he formed red fireballs in his palms, chucking them at the two Piranha Plants. Mario then jumped into the warp pipe on the left, only to come out after being bitten by a rather angry Piranha Plant. Mario ran past the warp pipe, screaming in pain as a Bullet Bill collided into him, exploding on contact. Mario spun around, moaning as he moved dizzily along the path. A Lakitu above noticed this, and he chuckled a red Spiny down, landing right on Mario. Mario yelped as he felt the spikes coming right into his red, painfully pulling the shell out and chucking it back at the Lakitu in the air as he rubbed his sore head. However, he was not looking at the path ahead, and he then fell into quicksand. He struggled to get out, and he screamed as he was sucked in, unable to get back up.

And in cruel irony, there was a rope right next to the quicksand pit. Why must the world be so cruel...?


	87. Chapter 87

Mario questioned the fabric of time and space as time was moving too fast. Sadly for him, Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina were all not too happy at seeing the red capped plumber.

"Uh... so about time going fast..." Mario started as he was choked by Palkia, while Dialga and Giratina continued glaring upon him.

"Save your breath! These's no way you're going to convince me changing it!" Dialga snapped as he headbutted Mario, crushing his entire body.

Palkia nodded in agreement as he blasted water at Mario's face. "Yeah! Then you'd want to screw up the space continuium, and THAT'S NO GOOD."

Giratina grinned evilly as he grabbed Mario and tossed him into a dark abyss, watching the plumber scream as his entire body dissolved. Giratina sighed as he turned around, telling Dialga and Palkia, "Well, mission solved. Who wants pancakes?"


	88. Chapter 88

Mario screamed as he tumbled down and down the deep abyss, wondering how he got tricked again. He remembered about eating a hot juicy pizza that was placed on the path, and him running up to it, eating it when the earth shook, the ground below him collapsing.

"Darn it! I knew I should not have listened to my gut!" Mario demoaned as he continued screaming.

Bowser Jr. and Sonic the Hedgehog both looked down the pitfall, looking at each other and laughing their heads off as they raced towards the west to get a pizza.


	89. Chapter 89

Mario smacked the green fuzzy tennis ball at Waluigi, who tiwrled around and used his Waluigi Tornado, sending the ball high in the clear blue sky. The two were playing each other in an open grassy meadow, far away from the village as Mario smacked the ball back to the earth, hitting Waluigi in the crotch.

"Ha ha! Gotcha!" Mario exclaimed as he did a victory pose, blowing kisses to Waluigi as he shook his ass, screaming various pastas.

Waluigi growled as he somehow quickly recovered, tossing his purple tennis racket at Mario like a boomerange. He managed to get a good hit as it knocked Mario out cold, allowing Waluigi to take the victory.


	90. Chapter 90

Mario watched as two wooden brownish barrels rolled towards him. He pondered, wondering what anyone else would do in his situation. Gasping as he snapped his fingers, Mario ran towards the barrels, punching them. He smiled as he placed his hands on his hips, getting overrun by a tank.

"I knew we should have gotten that other model," Waluigi muttered as he opened the hatch, looking down to see Mario flattened like a pancake. He smiled, shouting down to Bowser, who was doing the driving, "On second though, let's keep this baby!"

Bowser chuckled as he stepped on the gas, the tank still flattening Mario like there was no tomorrow.


	91. Chapter 91

Mario was on a magic carpet ride. That belonged to Gwonam.

"SQUADALAH!" Mario exclaimed as he opened up his arms, only to be slapped across the face by Gwonam.

"Only I get toi say that. Only me. Me." Gwonam threatened as he grabbed Mario by the collar.

Mario sweated nervously. "Ehehehe, what's a little phrase stealing, 'eh Gwonam?"

Gwonam's right eye twitched violently as Gwonam punched Mario in the nose, causing the red capped plumber to fall off the carpet.


	92. Chapter 92

Mario screamed as he headed down the waterfall, having fallen in the river earlier. He popped hios head out, to see several pigeon spitting seeds at tried getting the pigeons away, but he landed on a rock sticking out from the waterfall, his body turning around as his crotch broke.

"Well, so much for having kids..." Mario muttered in a quiet, high pitched voice as he continued falling, making a big splash in the pool at the bottom of the waterfall as his legs stuck out in the air.

Waluigi, who was clobbering dem dere Koopas with his purple tennis racket, noticed Mario's legs, and laughed his head off as he briefly pointed at them.


	93. Chapter 93

Mario was being zapped by a bolt of lightning in the middle of a swimming pool over and over again due to an infinite loop in time. Bowser and Waluigi both swam by, noticing this as they laughed at Mario's misfortune.

"Should we help him?" Bowser chuckled as he munched on a donut.

Waluigi rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "No way. Let him suffer."

Bowser and Waluigi swam away, laughing their heads off as Mario continued being zapped to no end.


	94. Chapter 94

Mario was playing around with an old umbrella, laughing his head off with joy as he touched several poles with it. As he ran downhill with the umbrella, Mario tripped, landing flat on his face as the umbrella drifted into the air. Mario looked up, gasping as he ran back uphill, trying to get the umbrella back.

"Oh no, oh no!" Mario exclaimed as he attempted at jumping towards the umbrella, but fell down several stories instead, landing ina dirty mud pit, much to his annoyance. Several pigs surrounded Mario, curious as they watched the red capped plumber get up and run towards the umbrella.


	95. Chapter 95

Mario wasthinking of a way to stump Bowser when he was grabbed by Kevin K. Koopa and Billy B. Bo-Bomb, being beaten up to a pulp like a pinata as Waluigi revealed himself from the bushes, backed up by Sonic The Hedgehog and Bowser Jr.

"I should have figured that you idiots had something to do with tis," Mario asked as he was tied to a pole, boiling lava directly below him.

Waluigi smirked as he approached Mario, poking at the red capped plumber's nose. "Of course, you idiot, why else do you think we trapped you here?"

"We planned this hoist from the start," Sonic remarked as he wagged his left index finger, smiling as he kicked Mario into the lava.

Mario screamed at the top of his lungs as his butt was on fire, moments afterward his entire body burning with red hot flames everywhere.


	96. Chapter 96

Mario was sleeping, because he had nothing to do. No imaginations, no weird or awesome dreams, just sleep. And why? Because he was absolutely bored of his mind. The red capped plumber could have used a nice blank break for quite a while. Things were going very pleasant for Mario.

Until Bowser and Waluigi bombarded the house and stole all of Mario's fifty cookies. Yes, Bowser and Waluigi just stole fifty cookies from Mario. That's ten cookies by five.

**And that's terrible.**


	97. Chapter 97

"Mario, how come you barely visit me and the others anymore?" Golly asked as she sniffled, while Kevin and Billy were understandably annoyed.

Mario chuckled nervously as sweat came pouring down his face cheeks, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well... um... look! Over there!" He pointed towards the north, giant different flavored pies floating over the village.

Golly, Kevin, and Billy al gasped as they were blasted by the pies' lasers, turned into pies themselves. Mario smirked as he tried sneaking out of there, but he got zapped, much to his displeasure.


	98. Chapter 98

Mario was taking a nice walk around the forest nearby, watching as the birds were singing, the rivers were sparkling, and the summer leaves began their tyransformation into different colors. As Mario admired the forest's ways, he came across a red enclosed instruction booklet on the ground, picking it up and looking at it.

"Do not open," Mario read on the back as he rolled his eyes, ignoring the enclosed instruction booklet's pleas and opening it, being sucked inside.

Evil laughter was heard as the enclosed instruction booklet then exploded into bits and dusts, leaving not a trace.


	99. Chapter 99

Mario stopped by Morshu's new shop to see if there was anything useful for him. Morshu just stood there, whistling innocently as he watched Mario move about.

"Need anything, partner?" Morshu asked as he held his hands together.

Mario approached Morshu, holding a toaster. "How much is it for this?" He asked, pointing at the price tag.

Morshu looked at the toaster, then back at Mario. "It'll be over nine thousand rubbies. Mmmm!" He stared at Mario blankly.

Mario blinked several times, and then he tossed the toaster at Morshu, stomping off. "What a ripoff!"


	100. The 100th Chapter

Mario was having a celebration at his house for finally reaching the one hundredth chapter. Whatever that meant, anyway.

"It's the one hundredth chapter! Isn't this great?" Mario exclaimed with great jot as he raised his cup.

Bowser, Bowser Jr., Waluigi, Sonic The Hedgehog, and Birdo, the only five characters being there, looked at each other and then back at Mario. Silence.

"Yeah, as great as being stuck to a skunk with no memory of anything." Bowser remarked as he looked at some of the magazines Mario had.

Mario glanced angrily at Bowser as he placed his hands on his hips. "What does that mean?"

"It means I don't want to be stuck with you, you idiot plumber!" Bowser snapped back as he tossed a magazine at Mario's head.

Waluigi sighed as he sat down in front of Mario's pink piano. "Agh... why were we invited again?"

Bowser Jr. scratched the back of his head as he looked down, closing his eyes. "I think it's because we feel sorry for Mario so we had to keep him some company."

Sonic nodded in agreement, having gotten his fifth glass of water. "Well, that's the only reason I came. I'd never be caught dead hanging out with Lardio."

"Shut up, Sonic! You-a stupid-a hedgehog!" Mario shouted angrily as he shook his fist at Sonic.

Sonic scoffed as he pointed back at Mario, telling Waluigi and Bowser Jr., "See what I mean?"

Mario sighed as he sat down on his red sofa, putting his right hand on his face. "Mamma mia... why is it that the people I'm indifferent towards are here, but the guys I actually like aren't?"

Birdo tried her best to comfort Mario, not really knowing what to say. "Well... um..." She coughed nervously, patting Mario on the head. "Maybe we should just celebrate this moment."

Mario glanced up at Birdo,m and he sighed, looking back at the room. "You know what, you're right. I just need to be confident with what we have and... uh..." He slapped his forehead as he groaned. "Oh for God's sakes, I forgot what I was talking about!"


End file.
